Page 77 of The Masks We Break

I know he’s projecting whatever the heck was going on inside, but his words spear through my heart, nonetheless. The ache is enough to bring me to my knees, but instead, I nod. “Drive safe.”

I wave goodbye, then let my eyes snap to Blaze’s who’s leaning against his door. His arms are folded across his chest, his eyes scanning down my body, making me shiver.

He shoves off the wall and takes the first step toward me. I do the same, each step a little heavier than the last. Neither my body nor my stampeding heart wants me to say anything, but this is far overdue.

I am in control.

Taking a breath, I push my feet, stopping inches away. His body heat envelops me, and I could swear it’s the middle of summer.

“Hey, you.” He leans down, tapping my nose before kissing my lips. It’s tender and makes my stomach erupt in tiny butterflies.

I don’t want this to end.

The thought drops into my stomach, killing the beautiful winged creatures in one fell swoop. My eyelashes flutter, a failed attempt from keeping the tears at bay.

Blaze tilts his head, those tantalizing eyes of his reading everything on my face. His throat bobs with a swallow, and he nods. “Say it, puppet.”

At first, I shake my head, my muscles tensing all throughout my neck. I know what’s going to happen, and already, I feel the darkness creeping in.

What happens when the moon stops shining?Anything? Nothing?

I guess I’ll find out.

My throat itches with the need to say it, but the lump in my throat must be my heart’s last-minute ditch effort to protect itself. But I clench my fists, peering into his eyes as I anchor to him for courage one last time. “I’m in love with you, Blaze.”

The words spill out, the last bit of weight I’ve ever held on to breaks apart. Even if I know he doesn’t feel the same, I want him to know. I need him to understand how he completely consumes me, body, mind, and soul. That being with him has finally taught me to take control of my life—my happiness.

But I also deserve to be loved, and if it’s not something he can see himself doing, I need to cut the cord now before I can’t anymore—before I settle.

And I willneversettle again. Not even for Blaze Bardot.

THIRTY FOUR

Love. The definition of the term is arguably a synonym for a plethora of other words. Words that don’t mean shit, and definitely don’t last. Yet when Remy tells me that she loves me, my fucking heart jolts against my ribs.

Never in my life have I felt something like this, and my hand instinctively rubs at the sensation.

Remy shifts on her feet but keeps her chin up. The sun filters through her glasses letting me see the shimmer in her eyes clearly.

Please don’t cry.

“Blaze. I’m not asking you to love me now, tomorrow, or next week. But we’ve spent time together.Realtime. And I have to ask—I need to know. Has anything changed?”

I close my eyes to her question. I want to tell her how I feel. That my thoughts revolve around her in the morning and end with her at night. When we aren’t together, I think of ways I can keep her with me longer to drown out all the shit I deal with every day. Because that’s what she does, what she is. She’s the biggest, brightest fucking star in the sky and she needs to know that.

Iwantto love her, but honestly, I’m scared of fucking it all up—breaking what we have beyond all recognition.

Because if that happens, I couldn’t make it. I’d go insane.

These are all the things that cross my mind—all the things I need to say, but they die on my tongue when I open my eyes. Instead, I look my woman dead in her eyes and let fear win. “Why isn’t this enough?”

“Don’t, Blaze. You knew there would come a time I would ask you this.” She swallows hard, but my once fragile Remy doesn’t back down.

It’s a bittersweet moment watching the woman I’ve witnessed transform, using the same confidence to end us.

End me.

Her voice is determined, unwavering. “Answer me.”

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