Page 61 of The Masks We Wear

Clearly neither does she. Her arched brows furrow and she taps a long nail impatiently on the desk. “Kentucky. I’ll be cheering there.”

“What happened to psychology?”

She huffs, inspecting a crack on the wall next to her chair. “Please spare me the lecture I know you have. Nothing is wrong with going to a school for cheer. What if I want to cheer for the NFL one day?”

Something close to anger bubbles underneath my skin, searing through my veins. “Football? You want these good ass grades to go shake your ass for a football team? Who the fuck has you wanting to do that? Blaze?”

Shit.As soon as I say it, I feel like an asshole, but I can’t turn back now. And while I do think cheer is pretty badass, I can’t stop the hateful words from spewing like a toxin.

Her chair screeches against the linoleum as she backs up, her teeth gritted as she hisses. “Don’t you dare say shit about Blaze. You don’t know him.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. But really, did he fuck all the common sense out of you? You’re going through all this trouble, and giving up your dream for something you can only do while you’re young and hot?” The once light pink hue in the room has now darkened to a red. Or maybe it’s the blood rushing through my head.

She’s let some dumbass fuck her and her head up, and the last bit of respect I had for her dwindles, burning in the flames of her ignorance.

Lily stands, her chest heaving from her own anger beginning to boil over. Her knuckles bloom white as she clenches her fists. “Fuck you, and at least Blaze didn’t leave me to fucking rot here alone, Spencer!”

Her words cut through me, slicing me raw. “Leave you?You’rethe one who told me not to come!”

Rage spins through me, coating each nerve in pure fire. Beads of sweat roll down my temples. If she thinks she’s going to turn this whole thing around and play the fucking victim, she’s got another thing coming.

She did this.

Shekeepsdoing this.

Lily’s head whips back, a humorless laugh shaking her body. “Are you kidding me right now? For someone so damn smart, how can you be so dense?”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Lily? It’s clear you hate my fucking existence. So please, enlighten me as to how any of this is because of me!” I’m standing now, irritation licking up my spine and tensing every muscle in my body.

“She’s nothing—no one to me. Just a summer friend that makes my summer suck a little less.” She spits the words like acid rain, and they hit their mark, searing into my chest.

The conversation is one I remember because I had it a million times. Every time I came here for the summers, William would give me shit about being pussy whipped over Liliana. When I was younger, he would call it sprung, but when we grew up and figured out that sexual desire was coursing through me, he changed the phrase. And he wasn’t lying.

I was.

I was head over fucking heels for this short, sassy, smart, brown head girl. The one that kept me up till two am in the treehouse reading cartoons, and watching scary movies. The girl who took away the pain of watching my mother slowly deteriorate.

She was everything.

But like any fucking stupid ass kid, when William gave me a hard time about it, I lied. I didn’t want him constantly calling me a pussy.

“This…” I pause, breathing slowly as I recall the time Liliana’s mood shifted one afternoon. She must have heard me talking to him somehow. “Is all because of a conversation you weren’t even supposed to hear?”

A bitter laugh echoes in the space between us. “No shit, Sherlock.”

“Lily. Why the fuck didn’t you ask me about it? I would have fucking explained!” I rake a hand through my hair, gripping it by the roots. “All this time.”

All the lost time over a misunderstanding.

I want to punch my fucking face in. “We were best friends, for fuck’s sake, Lily. I would have told you—”

“Told me what? Made up some lies, so I would forgive you? Make—”

“That I loved you! And I didn’t want to keep hearing shit from Will.” I bark, unable to keep the confession locked away. It’s the past, but it’s the truth. A truth she needs to hear, even if it isn’t the case anymore.

Her hazel eyes widen, and her mouth drops open but nothing comes out for a full minute. “What?”

“To which part? That I loved you?” I scoff, rolling my eyes. “Come on, Lily. Anyone with fucking eyes could tell I was crazy about you. Had been since the day I saw you climbing your trees with those yellow ribbons in your hair.”

---