Page 68 of The Masks We Wear

I’ve never been a stickler about the food I put in my body, but I’ve always try to be at least a little cautious. Workouts after eating junk food sucked, and I usually puke at practice. My aunt must notice my face and sighs. “It’s Christmas, mija. Stop worrying about it. It’s one day.”

I poke at the side of my hip, where there used to be only bone. Now my finger sinks in an inch before reaching it. “Yeah, you said that five pounds ago, Aunt Mina. You know what five pounds can do when girls have to toss you?”

She groans again, cutting my rations in half. “Okay, I’ll be more mindful, chica flaca.”

My eyes roll in the back of my head, but I take the plate and join Blaze. I sit at the opposite end and can’t help but look across the backyard.

There hasn’t been smoke coming from Spencer’s chimney the entire break, and not once have I seen him at his window. He also has a pretty non-existent family since his parents are both only children and much older. I’m fairly certain he only has one living grandparent, so I don’t think they went anywhere.

A knot swells in my throat.

What if he moved back to Idaho?

Blaze cuts through my thoughts, kicking me under the table. “Close your mouth, Lil.”

“Hush,” I hiss, turning to my plate of food, but my appetite is gone.

He chuckles, leaning back and running a hand down his stomach, clearly pleased with his ability to eat his weight in pancakes. “You want me to go over? See if he’s there?”

Blaze does me the courtesy of keeping his voice low, but I still glance over my shoulder to make sure my aunt doesn’t hear. It’s not that I don’t want her to know per se, but she’s got a spicy attitude, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she marched over in the snow to Spencer’s house to have his neck. Or maybe she would scold me for being so quick to jump to conclusions about him in the first place. Either way, I’d rather not broach the subject with her yet.

My eyes flit back to Blaze, and I shake my head. He chuckles, threading a hand through his dark hair. “He’s too weak for you, Lily.”

“Excuse me?” I have no idea why I’m offended, but I am.

He leans forward, interlocking his fingers and putting his elbows up on the table. “How many times has he let you walk away from him now? How many times has he let you pull that bullshit on him without handling you like he should have?”

I swallow around the burn, now suffocating my sinuses. I don’t mention how he tried to be invisible when he first moved here or the countless times we were alone, and he could havetriedto talk to me. To dig deeper.

“When a guy wants something, he’ll do whatever he needs in order to get it.” With that, he stands, and meanders over to the sink, and starts doing the dishes.

“Such a precious boy. Thank you.” My aunt beams and sits next to Amora. They become engrossed in a conversation about Amora dyeing my aunt’s hair when she returns from Florida.

I shift back to the dark house, pushing the food around on my plate as I play with Blaze’s words.

He’ll do whatever it takes.

He may not have meant the words he said to William that day, but I am sure of one thing—Spencer doesn’t want me now.

Hehatesme… and for some reason, I hate that.

TWENTY EIGHT

School’s been in session for a couple of weeks, but I haven’t seen Spencer once. Not at lunch, not with Remy during passing periods, nowhere. I even decided to start going back to Mr. Jones’s science class and... nothing. The teacher doesn’t even call his name for attendance, and reality begins to settle in the pit of my gut.

He must have moved.

Blaze’s words from Christmas loop in my ear on repeat. He was right. I mean, I already figured that, but to know Spencer left without so much as afuck youtwists my stomach in knots.

Knowing Icaremakes me nauseous.

The way he’d held onto my face, the desperation that dripped from his words, I almost thought he meant them. Thought that even after all the shit I’d thrown at him, he still found a way to see under the facade—the hurt.

I had this naive notion that maybe this time, he would come after me.

But then Spencer performed the infamous disappearing act I’m so familiar with.

It goes without saying at this point, I’m conditioned to expect certain things from people. First and foremost, they are selfish. They think about what the relationship (be a friendship or otherwise) can offer them. They need to know it will be worth the effort required to make it work, whether it be social status, a good lay, or compliments to fill their ego.

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