Page 66 of The Masks We Wear

She sighs, hugging her latest romance read closer to her chest. “Yeah, I know. And it’s imperative. I’m just going to miss you.”

The slight burn in the back of my nose flares, hitting the brim of my eyes. The mix of feelings I’ve been having with finally letting go of Liliana and this impromptu trip with my parents has put my emotions into overdrive.

Dad says Mom is too far gone, and it’s becoming more dangerous to leave her at home every day, even with a nurse. They visited some places a few weeks back, and she’s checking in at the end of March, so Dad wanted to clear some stuff on her bucket list while she still remembers.

By this time next week, I’ll be in Niagara Falls, a week after that, I think Barbados, and then somewhere in Europe right after.

“I got you this.” Remy shifts to take her backpack from her shoulders, opening it and pulling out a bag. “It’s a few disposable cameras and a Polaroid. That way, you don’t forget to take pictures. Maybe give her a few, so she can look at them and…”

Her voice trails off as I grab her, wrapping my arms around her tiny shoulder. Despite the heaviness in my stomach, the comfort of her hug makes the air a little warmer somehow and the upcoming trip a little less bleak.

“I know I won’t be able to talk to you much, but please, for the love of all romance books, please don’t do anyone stupid while I’m gone.”

She rubs her eyes with the back of her sleeves and cranes her neck to look at me with furrowed eyebrows. “You mean something? Oh! Spencer, jeesh.”

Remy backs out of my hug, slugging me in the arm. Our bodies shake in unison as our laughter bounces through the empty halls. I’m going to miss these little moments with her. When the bell rings, it signifies more than just me going on a vacation.

It’s the last time I’ll hear it and head to a home where I’ll still have my mom. Losing someone while they’re still here is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

It evokes a type of pain deep in your bones. You feel it when you move, when you rest, when all you’re doing is fucking breathing. It wears away at everything else until all you want is to feel nothing. To be numb.

Hell, I’d sacrifice ever feeling happiness again if I didn’t have to hurt like this anymore.

But life isn’t that kind. It takes just as easy as it gives, and in my case, it’s taking everything.

Just another thing I’ve come to accept this week.

TWENTY SEVEN

“You want to look at what?”

My aunt Mina whirls around the kitchen smoothly, as if she’s been cooking in it for years. Having her here has become my favorite thing in life, even when she makes ridiculous suggestions like this one.

“Let’s look at the lights.”

“Like drive around and look?”

She sighs, slapping the cutting board on the counter before unsheathing a knife from the block a little too slowly. “Sweet girl, please give me this one thing. I missed so much of your childhood.”

There it is, and with those magic words, I cave like Andy’s toys when they hear him coming. I hold my hands up in defeat. “Okay, okay. But Blaze has to come.”

“Of course, he doesn’t have a choice.” She beams over her shoulder, her ruby lips stretching into a perfect smile.

Blaze moves behind her, skirting around to reach in the refrigerator for a soda. He tosses me one before opening his, the crisp pop of the can cutting through the stinted silence. “Yeah, sure.”

He tries to act as though it’s the most unimportant thing in the world, but he can’t stop that gray eye from speaking his truths. It twinkles in excitement, betraying his nonchalant attitude.

“Don’t forget, I have to be gone for about a week the day after Christmas,” she reminds me, slicing into the carrots.

“A week?” Blaze and I say in unison.

“Yes, mija. And now, my second child. I’ll be back as soon as I close everything up. I have to move a few things over that I can’t do here.” She leans across the bar top, pinching my chin between her thumb and forefinger. “And then I’m never leaving you again.”

It’s strange, the ache radiating across my chest. I didn’t have this woman in my life for over a decade, yet in just a few weeks, she moved mountains in my chest, breaking every rock I tried to hide behind. She’s been so honest, so pure in everything she’s done, and I found myself clinging on to her like my life depends on it.

Hell, maybe in a way, it does.

Being with her has shown me I am enough. Enough to move across the country for, to give up your entire life for. Enough to love.

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