Page 65 of The Masks We Wear

Her face snaps up, her eyes finally connecting mine, stealing my breath. Her mouth opens and closes twice before she mutters, “For what?”

Gripping the nape of my neck, I squeeze, unable to look away from her. “I...should’ve tried harder to figure out what happened to us. I shouldn’t have let you think that you meant nothing.”

Lily scoots back in her chair, folding her arms as if to hug herself. “No. Spencer…” she swallows, a light blush creeping across her face. “I think we both could have done things differently. I, for one, didn’t have to do all those things to you.”

“I understand, though. If I were yo—”

“Don’t.” Her voice is firm, and she arches forward to clench her knees, her knuckles blooming a bright white.

“Don’t what?” I breathe.

“Act like you understand anything about me or the reasons I’ve done things. You don’t knowanything.”

I scoff, leaning back into my chair, slight irritation trying to push away the guilt I felt seconds ago. “I know all about you, Lily. I know you still dance in the windows like nobody’s looking or that your ears turn bright red when you lie. I know your favorite food is popcorn, but it’s also your least favorite because the kernels get stuck in your gums. Yo—”

“Stop. That’s superficial shit, Spencer. You are completely clueless as to who Iam. The shit I’ve gone through…” Her voice trails off, but her nose flaring tells me she’s on the verge of crying or screaming. I’m not quite sure which.

Annoyance and frustration bubble up into my throat because, really, Iwantto know. I want to know everything. All the shit she’s had to go through and make up for all the times I wasn’t there.

But I know better.

What’s done is done.

I rub my temples, trying my best to push away the thumping against my skull. “I see you plenty, Lily. But what’s the point of doing this? It won’t change anything.”

Her breath hitches, and she blinks a few times as if I’ve said something off-kilter. A couple more blinks, and she’s able to grab at her calm composure. “Smartest thing I’ve ever heard you say. Are we done here?”

I suck in a bit of air, letting my pulse gain some type of rhythm before nodding. This is not what I had planned. Definitely not what I fucking wanted.

“Hmhm.” My answer is slow, drawn-out, only because I know what will happen when she walks out.

It will be the last time she does it. This will be the last time we are confined within the four walls, forced to fucking talk to each other.

This is it.

We will become two strangers with a few shared memories and a tragic backstory.

And I’m going to let her walk out because I’m not the type to force someone to stay. Or maybe it’s because I am a little weak after all. Unwilling to really fight for people because in the end… they can easily forget who you are.

But as I stare down at my twitching hand, and listen to my aching heart, rattling in my chest like it’s threatening to stop beating once she’s gone, I know.

It’s the first time I’ve been able to admit it. Idon’twant her to go.

But I do.

I always fucking do, and today… I accept that whatever we had, is done.

SOMEHOW,I made it through the week and aced every fucking final.

Little by little, I’ve cleaned out my locker and connected with all my teachers making sure everything was good to go. Now, all that’s left is to-

“Hey, you.” Remy slides next to my locker, a soft smile curling the edge of her lips. Somehow she’s managed to pull half her dark locks up into a lopsided bun, and she looks more like a librarian than ever.

“Hey.”

“All cleaned out?” Her voice is low, somber. She tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear before rotating to put her back against the cold metal.

“Yeah.” My voice cracks, and I clear my throat in an attempt to cover it. “Look, Remy, it’s only till Spring Break.”

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