Page 56 of The Masks We Wear

“Did you see the mascot they had tattooed on your thigh?” Remy’s voice teems with irritation, her little face turning red as she nods to the paper.

At this point, Remy isn’t surprised by anything Lily does anymore. But she says the pieces aren’t adding up. She claims Lily is lashing out. Though from what, I can’t care to guess because honestly,she’sthe one who hurtme. Lily is the person who changed, who shutmeout, toldme to stay in Idaho, and ended our friendship.

My head begins swimming, making me dizzy, forcing me to sink into her fluffy futon.

Remy pats me on the shoulder before collapsing next to me. “I mean, it’s obvious the picture was doctored.”

I huff, scrubbing my hands over my face. “Yeah, but I don’t think that was the big turn-off. It must have been the fun little caption. Every date canceled.”

Remy’s bright eyes widen, and her mouth creates a perfect O. “I mean, forget them, right? Obviously, they weren’t worth your time.”

“Remy, I could really use a distraction, someone to sink my dic—”

“I’m going to go wash my ears out, be right back.” She shoves her shoulder into mine and stands, dramatically walking toward the door.

“Oh, stop. That shit you read in the romance novels is ten times worse,” I deadpan.

She flushes a deep fuchsia almost immediately, releasing the doorknob and wrapping her arms around herself. A tightness tugs across my chest.Shit.

“I’m not judging you, Remy. I was just saying it’s not like you haven’t heard it.”

Her bashful gaze meets mine, and a smile spreads slowly across her face. The laughter she’d been holding in, spills out, bouncing off the walls. It’s a sweet sound, light and infectious, coercing a chuckle from me easily.

“You were messing with me?”

“Of course. I know what I read. It’s called smut.” She flops back down, grabbing the paper from my hand. “Not as entertaining as this, though. I just wanted you to smile a little.”

I roll my eyes, letting my head fall back. “I’m not her enemy.”

“But she doesn’t seem to know that. For her, you are, and she’s going to win if you don’t figure out what game you’re playing.”

My hands curl into fists before I unclench them and dig the pads of my palms into my eyes. “It seems like Chess, and according to her, I am just a pawn.”

Remy’s brows knit together, and she chews on the inside of her bottom lip. After a few seconds, her hazel eyes narrow. “Okay, so your original lie of why she was bothering you may hold some truth.”

“Huh?”

She grunts, waving a hand around. “I’m saying. She obviously got put in our class for a reason. Maybe something to look good on her transcript? So she could be using you for that.”

“Yeah, but she said she was waiting to call a checkmate.”

“That’sthe part about your past. You’re missing something, Spencer. No eighteen-year-old girl is going to go out of her way to do all this.” She points to the flyer. “Unless she’s been hurt. Bad.”

“Remy.” I gaze back at the ceiling, following a path in the textured paint. The hollowness in my chest is back, expanding into my gut.

If I knew what I did, I wouldn’t hesitate to fix it. Even though I despise who she is now and can’t stand the feelings my fucking body goes through from just seeing her, I would try. Because Remy is right. This isn’t Liliana. No one changes this drastically without a catalyst.

I shouldn’t care. The logical side of my brain is screaming for me to let it go, not to look into things anymore. What’s done is done, and there’s no coming back from how far she and I have fallen.

But then there’s my heart. As torn and broken as it is, its beats are strong, thrumming through my body with any thoughts of her. It consumes me with a raw passion I can feel from the shell of my ear to the tips of my toes.

So while I may hate the girl with damn near every fiber of my being, I want to set things right.

Maybe then, I can let her go.

TWENTY THREE

There’s a horrendous flutter in my stomach, sloshing around the three cups of coffee I drank this morning to keep myself awake. I stayed up all night, nerves still in shambles from my meeting with Spencer, and anxiety whips through me as I clean the house again for the fifteenth time.