Page 32 of The Masks We Wear

I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes. “Yeah. I think that’s exactly what this is. At least you’re not the school’s new mascot.”

Emerald High’s bootlicking bulldog. That’s the hashtag circulating with the evidence I’m a dumbass.

She huffs. “I’m really sorry for asking you to go. I kinda feel like some of this is my fault. I lead you right to her.”

“No, don’t even worry about it. She was going to do something like this sooner or later. I’m sure of it. She’s the fucking worst.”

We sit on the phone quietly for a minute. And when I think she may have fallen asleep, she yawns. “Is this going to last all day?”

I smile. “Probably.”

She groans, and I can hear her shifting in her bed. The noise makes me suddenly nauseous, and I burp. It tastes like rancid fire.

Fucking hell.

“I have an idea about how to deal with Lily. I need to take a nap, though, and I’ll call you later tonight.”

A soft knock at my door causes me to jolt upright. My head spins, and the room follows suit, already blurry without my glasses. I clench the sheets, steadying my breath before I hear another knock and Remy’s faraway voice. “You there?”

“Yeah,” I huff out. “Call me later.”

She hangs up, and my gaze stays trained on the door. Dad’s at the office, so it must be Mom. I wanted to see her, but I also feel like shit. If she sees me like this, she may think I’ve reverted back to my ways in Idaho. I don’t think I can stomach her disappointment today. Still, I call her in.

“Come in,” I mutter, and it’s only after I say it that I realize how soft my words are.

Even so, the door opens slowly, and my mother stands in the frame. The hall light behind her illuminates her head in a beautiful glow, making her look like the angel she truly is. She’s dressed in a delicate cream sweater and green forest trousers. Her neck is decorated in a string of pearls, which is always a good sign—it means she had the energy to get dressed.

Relief courses through me, even in my hazy state. “Good morning, Mom.”

My mother smiles and moves inside, carefully sitting at the edge of my bed. She crosses her legs, and her hand finds my shin. Back and forth, she rubs, quietly waiting for me to lay back down.

The sensation makes my eyes heavy—something about a mother’s touch that soothes even the worst pain and lets you relax.

I fall back on my pillow and rest my head to the side so I can still see her.

“Rough night, honey?” Her voice is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard, like in the movies where a princess sings to wild animals.

She’s taken care of William and me on more than one occasion, and each time never a hint of judgment in her actions. Only advice. Good as shit advice that I never want to listen to because it always circles back to her thinking I’m heartbroken.

“How areyoufeeling, Mom?”

My mother sighs, her soft eyes lighting up with her smile. “I didn’t feel so hot this morning, but after some medicine and a good breakfast, I feel much better.”

I close my eyes, embracing the lightness in my chest. I know her condition can’t be reversed, but when she’s able to turn her day around before an episode, it gives me hope. Hope that maybe she’ll hold on. Remember me a little longer.

Love me… a little longer.

“Honey, your heart. I can feel it from here. It’s aching. I thought moving back here might help, but I have this dreadful feeling it’s only made it worse.”

I can hear the sadness in her voice, and it drives me fucking crazy. My already pulsing head quivers when I shake it, desperate for her to know thatnothingthat’s happening is her fault.

“Don’t move.” She squeezes my leg briefly before standing, rounding the bed, and sitting behind me. Her soft hand connects with my back, and she begins rubbing in circles. “I just wanted to tell you that no matter what is going on, I need you to remember to hold fast and hold steady. You are all that is good in this world, and no matter what tries to deter you from that, don’t forget you’re mom’s sweet boy. Always,always,stay true to who you are.”

I swallow around the lump in my throat and don’t try to blink away the burn radiating behind my eyes. Instead, I close them completely, leaning into her touch.

Within minutes my consciousness ebbs, giving way to a surprisingly peaceful sleep.

THE BELL RINGS,and there’s still no sign of Lily. Part of me feels light, hopeful she’s switched classes, and Saturday night was the end of my misery. But then a familiar tingle descends my spine, and the she-devil herself swings the door open.

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