Page 50 of Midnight Kingdom

He nod him head, but then the Mother Heifer come over an’ start askin’ him a bunch o’ questions. I know she do it just to distract him, but him an’ me need to gets down to business an’ quick! Mother Heifer lookin’ real flirty when she talk to him, all but twirlin’ her hair an’ fuckin’ bendin’ over in front o’ him like a bitch in heat. But Masky don’t even react none. I seen how he is around Pretty—like he be wantin’ to sample what she got on offer. He don’t react the same way with this bitch. An’ I be glad for it. She make me madder than anythin’. Even Assface, who currently bleedin’ out on the supper table, ain’t as bad as her.

“So, Pyre is it? Why have I never heard of you before?” she ask.

“You would have if you had been at the battle like you were supposed to be.”

Oh, snaps! I fuckin’ love the psycho-ghost-talker now! He my new favorite.

“I was powerless and of no help to anyone; surely you can sense the magic I have is barely enough to keep me standing at the moment.” She lyin’ real smooth. I ain’t buyin’ it, an’ neither is Masky if that stomach flu face o’ his be any indication. “Perhaps you should get to know me better before you pass judgment.”

“I’m not judging you, Morrigan. I simply treat you the way I treat anyone. You are innocent until proven otherwise, but don’t think you’re entitled to any automatic praise and respect in this world.”

Oh, snaps again! He my hero now! Fuck yeah! The other dicks can take a long walk offs a short portal that be open up at the bottom o’ the ocean.

“Then why did you help them rescue me?” she ask.

“We speak for the fire in the night. Upon his flame we thrive.”

“I... I’ve heard that before.”

“That is how the Astral refer to me,” Masky reply.

“I don’t understand.”

Yeah, no shit. I ain’t understandin’ neither.

“We hear her like rain upon the stone. Beneath her charge we cannot sing, but oath demands we devote in her name,” he say an’ then he looks at her. “And that is how they refer to you. My spirits are watching The Veil always. You astral-project in your sleep, do you not? Shadow walking between the thin barrier that separates the realms?”

“If I do, I did not realize it.”

“Of course,” he say, an’ I think that hims way o’ callin’ her a fuckin’ liar. “They told me where to find you, and I know you play an important role in all of this. Astral is projection, theyarethat barrier where you tread.”

“Do you suspect me of treachery?”

“I only wish to protect this world. Whatever happens to the rest of it is out of my hands.” Masky walk away all dismissive-like an’ I wanna shake hims hand.

The Mother Heifer smile an’ walk back to her room an’ it look like it take up all her energy just to do that. Masky get busy helpin’ heal Assface on the table, an’ so are the others. Even Pretty gots her glowy hands all over him. My only hope—an’ gods help me for thinkin’ it—is Noni. Ugh. The little brownie too damn happy. Ain’t nobody that happy in the middle o’ all this shit.

“Noni!” I squeaks as I fly up the stairs. She be pickin’ through a sack o’ string last time I sees her, talkin’ bout needin’ to sew the satyr a pair o’ pants. But she ain’t nowhere, neither. An’ Noni don’t like bein’ nowhere, she said it her damn self. “Noni!”

Then she goes an’ pop up right behind me, scarin’ the fucks outta me an’ nearly makin’ my breeches turn brown. “Fuckin’ hell! Why ya gotta sneaks up on me?”

“You need Noni, Mr. Flumph?”

“I don’t need you! But... yeah, I guess I do need you,” I grumble an’ puffs my chest real big so I much bigger than her. “Help me spy on the Mother Heifer an’ I’ll helps you make supper. That my offer, takes it or leave it.”

“Noni leave it.”

“What? Why?”

“Noni will help Mr. Flumph if he—” She stop an’ give me that creepy grin o’ hers. “If Mr. Flumph be Noni best friend forever! Noni like Mr. Flumph, she wanna be his friend for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.”

The fuckin’ brownie go on an’ on like that for ways too long. I put my hand over her mouth to keep her quiet. “No. I ain’t doin’ it. You drive me up the walls ‘nough as it is!”

“Then Noni no help.”

“The fate o’ the realms’s in my hands, you little brat! I a hero now, not the giants. Help me spy on the Mother Heifer an’ takes my offer or I drown youze in the bath.”

She gasp an’ then fall to the floor, gigglin’ like I ain’t serious or somethin’. But I am! I picks her up, but she go all invisible an’ wiggle away. I tryin’ to find her, chasin’ her all over the damn cottage. Then, she peek her big fuckin’ head out from under the bed an’ I scream real loud, but real manly-like.

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