Page 484 of Kingdoms of Night

“It wasn’t all bad at the end.” I climbed onto the bed, so soft it had me moaning like I had just taken off ill-fitting shoes. “I got to speak with—with my husband. Gods in Heaven, that doesn’t sound right, does it?”

“I imagine it doesn’t, because this isn’t a regular marriage.”

Watching her putter around the room, bringing in covered plates on heavy trays and setting them at my bedside, I debated how to broach the next topic.

Tact served nothing when the stakes were this high. “Suzianna, how do you show a man that you love him?”

Slowing down, she carefully uncovered the steaming meals and began to serve me. “I don’t know. I’ve never gotten the opportunity.”

I accepted the plate despite having no appetite. “But what would you do if you could?”

“I’d give myself to him,” she whispered. “I’d share his bed, trust him with my safety, my body.”

No doubt thinking of Baltasar.

“Can I ask you something personal?” I patted the space by me on the bed, and she sat, plate on her lap. “Was Baltasar your proxy?”

“Yes,” she answered immediately. “He-he’s what introduced me to this world, and was such a great companion throughout our trip. I believed him to be the Shadow King at first.” She dipped her bread into the red soup then shoved it into her mouth, smothering her continuation. “I was so disappointed when he wasn’t.”

Was it my place to tell her that she had, in actuality, married him? Did he know and not tell her? Or could this wait until the more pressing matter of Tamuz and my marriage was resolved.

She touched my hand, urging me to eat. “Why do you ask?”

“I want to undo what Ashtara has done, and prevent her from achieving her horrid goals, and to manage that, I need to do what you and the others couldn’t.”

“Face him?”

“Love him, and show that I do.” I swirled the soup in its deep dish, holding the spoon as lousy as I did the dagger. “I can’t think of how to achieve either, or know if I’m even capable of it.”

“I really don’t know what to tell you, aside from ‘love is not something you can control’.” She looked to the door, wistful. “It will hit you like a stray arrow from a nearby battle, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.”

If only I could stab myself with that arrow, and get it all over and done with now.

“Until then, aside from sharing his bed, what can I do?”

There had to be a way around this. The way Ashtara had phrased it wasn’t locked with specific parameters, so I could bend the limits. Perhaps even exploit a gap in the terminology, as the priests and courtiers I grew up among did.

I searched my thoughts for an idea so unthinkable it could outwit the curse, and came to a single conclusion.

And it just might work.

CHAPTEREIGHT

Aweek passed with inescapable daylight, and I had had enough of resting.

Suzianna, bless her, had done her best to entertain me. Through teaching me lunar boardgames and bringing me a variety of foods, she’d openly regaled me on her life before Baltasar had swept her to the skies.

In between alternating palace gossip, from the halls of Magistan and Daraqamar alike, I’d parsed why she preferred life here. Once she’d mentioned the Magistani king chose her from ‘among his favorites’, I understood that she’d been his concubine. Unlike back in her kingdom, here she wasn’t expected to do anything beyond housekeeping.

“I promise I won’t go onto risky platforms this time,” I begged. “Just let me out. I’m going stir-crazy in here.”

Hands on her hips, she blocked the bedroom door. “But what do you want to do out there exactly?”

“Explore. Genuinely this time!” I assured her, tying my robe at the waist. “There has to be something else people do here to entertain themselves aside from playing games and eating.”

“You’re not cleared to tour the city or ride abashmu,” she argued.

“Have you ridden one?”

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