Page 456 of Kingdoms of Night

“Exactly.” Rowan started toward her and pulled her hands to him. He squeezed her fingers, even bending a bit to look her in the eyes. “I should be the one to go out of the two of us. If there are any of those men left, I am the only one who can fight them.”

“I can fight them,” she snarled, ripping her hands away from his. “I’m not incapable, you dolt. Someone has to do it, and both Tanis and I agree that I’m the one who should go.”

Was this because he and Tanis had made a connection that the dragon and his sister hadn’t made? Were his feelings for the dragon going to be the downfall of his twin?

He couldn’t stand that. The dragon couldn’t ask for him to choose between her or his sister, because the choice would always be his sister. Aster had to come first. She was the other half of his soul. The person who had shared the womb with him for many months. He couldn’t... couldn’t...

Aster’s expression softened. She put her hand to his cheek and smoothed her thumb over his cheek. “You’ve been worried about me since we were children, Rowan. You don’t have to worry about me anymore. I know that’s probably hard, considering you’ve done it for as long as I can remember. But you have to know, it’s okay. It’s okay to let me go.”

He didn’t want to, though. He didn’t want to let her go and did not know if he would never see her again.

Rowan placed his hand over hers and held her fingers tight to his cheek. “I’ve already had to say goodbye to you once, you know. You disappeared with the dragons and I had to mourn your loss. I was the one who had to sit with the knowledge that my twin died and there was nothing I could do to get you back. And then I did.”

“You can’t control everything, Rowan. Sometimes you just have to know that you did your best, and that what comes after has nothing to do with you.”

But this was his sister.

A warm nose nudged his back. Tanis must have stuck her head in through the opening of the cabin. “We’ve talked it over. She knows all the hidden passages that were dug for situations like this. Aster will be as safe as anyone could make her. As if I went with her myself.”

That wasn’t reassuring. Tanis didn’t fight. She wasn’t the right kind of dragon to protect his sister from those men who had killed so many.

But his sister’s words broke through the anxiety of losing her. He had to let her go at some point. He had to trust her.

And he did.

He believed in her and what he had taught her growing up. He knew that she was just as powerful as he was, stronger even, because she’d been willing to trust the dragons when it had taken him a long time to accept them.

Rowan cupped the back of her neck and drew their foreheads together. “I will miss you. Stay safe.”

“And tonight we will feast because Tanis caught us a deer. I’ll take some of it with me, of course, but we will fill our bellies first.” She pulled away from him to gesture in the back of the cabin. He hadn’t noticed the pile of winter roots until now.

“You’ve been busy,” he remarked, trying hard to shake off the doubt and fears.

They both needed to be present on this last night together until they would see each other again. And so they feasted. They laughed as they cooked and gorged their bellies on food. They told stories about Aster’s time with the dragons and all the mistakes she’d made. None of them were as bad as Rowan’s mistakes, of course, but he’d take some ribbing if it meant he got to see the smile on her face for a little longer.

Rowan wanted to burn that expression into his mind. The bright grin, the flash of white teeth, the way the firelight played upon her expression as she told a story so animated even he had a hard time following it.

And when his sister fell asleep, curled up on their homemade bed, he turned toward Tanis. “Do you really believe she’ll be safe?”

“Safe enough,” she replied. “I wouldn’t agree with her plan otherwise.”

“So you think she’ll come home to us?”

Tanis didn’t hesitate or even blink. “She’ll be back before the snow melts. That’s what I assume.”

He sat down on the ground beside her, using one of the few knives they’d brought to whittle away at a small piece of wood. He enjoyed the silence with her. And wasn’t that strange? He’d always thought that someone he might fall for would require conversations that had them staying up late into the night. That they would loudly be around each other, talking about ideas and dreams and... everything.

But the peace he felt in sitting with her in utter silence? That was so much better than any conversation he’d ever had.

Though, he had one lingering question that he wanted answered. “Did you choose her to go because you wanted me here?”

Tanis laid her head on the ground beside him so she could watch his expressions a little easier. “Why would you think that?”

He gestured between the two of them with the knife. “You know whatever is going on between us is... not the same as how you look at Aster.”

She hummed long and long under her breath. “Ah, yes. Aster mentioned that to me. You think I’m your dragon.”

Hisdragon? She wasn’t a pet! The ancestors would reach down from the stars in the sky and slap him silly if he ever deigned to believe a dragon could be kept as a pet. He hated to think of what they would assume if he ever let that thought come to life.

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