Page 526 of Filthy Elites

Her mouth falls open and then twists into a grin. “Just like that? He suggests friends, you suggest some alfresco sex?”

“It’s all a bit of a blur, he did his Sebastian Jedi mind trick shit and said he wouldn’t take anything from me anymore, said that I had to offer; and oh my god, I think I kind of begged him.” Covering my face with my hands I groan.

“You like him, don’t you?” Sammy asks, her tone serious now.

“I hate him.”

“Okay, just for a minute, take away all the stuff from the past and just think about what’s happened since you got to Kingsacre. You like him.”

“The problem is I can’t discount the stuff that happened, it shaped me and fundamentally changed me as a person. I might and it’s a really big question mark, likethisversion of Sebastian, but how can I forget everything he’s done to me?”

Our waitress arrives with our food and I fall silent, thanking her as I lift my mimosa to my lips. “Why didn’t she ask for ID?”

“None of the bars along this strip bother asking for ID from the Kingsacre students,” she says, waving my concern away. “Okay, so let’s take it one offense at a time. You guys met in high school?”

“Met probably isn’t accurate, I never spoke to him before the day he announced I was his. But yeah, according to him and the others, he saw me when I was a freshman and decided I belonged to him.”

“That’s when Clay, Evan and Hunter started watching you for him? This is the bit I don’t understand, why didn’t he just come say hi?”

“GAA, the school we went to, has these weird rules. Every freshman has a year to prove who they are, and that means for the first year they don’t really interact with the older kids and the older kids aren’t allowed to mess with them. It’s supposed to give you a year to find your place or some shit.”

“And Sebastian and the others were like prefects?”

“The Elite, yeah. There’s a tradition that the graduating Elite seniors pick their replacements from the juniors, but the guys were picked as freshmen. It was a whole thing, but basically it meant they were royalty, they were Elites for three years, not just one, and their word was law.”

“So they were the kings and Sebastian wanted to make you his queen, but he didn’t make his move until your sophomore year?”

A bitter laugh falls from my lips. “Yeah, it was the first day of classes and I had a shift at the diner I worked at straight after school. By the time I had my uniform on, they were sitting in a booth in my section. I was so scared, I thought they were there to tell me I was getting kicked out of school, but instead Sebastian told me I was his and that I had to quit my job. Clay went and spoke to my boss and came back with my final paycheck. I’m not entirely sure what they threatened him with, but he told me not to bother coming back.”

“Wow.”

“Oh that’s not even the worst thing they did that day. They forced me to get into their car and then he just started telling me I was his. God, I think he even mentioned us getting engaged. I freaked the fuck out and must have passed out, because when I woke up I was in a bedroom at his house. He had a doctor there for me and he called my mom out and she stayed the night. I still don’t know how he managed to convince everyone that I was there willingly, but no one ever questioned it.”

“Your mom never thought it was weird?”

“No. Mom drank the Kool-Aid from day one, she loves Sebastian, I told her what he was doing and she just brushed it off as teenage drama. When I went to Maine I had a complete fucking meltdown. I told my dad everything and he never questioned it. He hates Sebastian, well all of them really.”

“But apart from that first few days, Sebastian hasn’t been a total psycho, right?”

I exhale slowly. “No, not really. He scared the crap out of me that first day, he said all this shit about cages and clipping my wings and loads of other fucked-up stuff, but then he just changed his mind and set me free.”

“Wow,” she says again.

“Half of me thinks he’s still fucking with me, but I just don’t know anymore. I want to walk away, to leave and forget about him, but it’s like he’s infected my thoughts. He’s been the monster under the bed for so long now, I just don’t think I can just pretend he’s not a part of my life.”

“And the sex?”

“Well I’ve got nothing else to compare it to, but it was phenomenal, completely out of this world. I came so many times I actually thought about asking him to stop making me orgasm at one point. I don’t know what it is about being with him, our past is so toxic and even when he’s not messing with me, it still feels like he’s messing with me. Last night when I was dancing with that guy, all I could think about was that it felt wrong, him touching me. I got asked out a couple of days ago and I felt nothing but an icky guilt, like if I agreed I’d be cheating. When Sebastian touches me, even after all our fucked-up history, it feels right.”

“Oh my god, this is some next level messed up,” Sammy laughs.

“Tell me about it. I’ve never even kissed anyone but him.”

“We need to change that. You can’t make an informed decision about Sebastian if you’ve never experienced anything else. There’s a block party tonight at Bufford Row in the town houses, we’re going to go and you’re going to find a cute guy to kiss. If it’s good then great, you can explore what boys are like away from Sebastian and his mind fuckery. If it’s bad, or it feels wrong, then maybe as messed up as he is, Sebastian is the one, and you need to figure out a way to forget the past and move forward.”

TWENTY-SEVEN

Sebastian

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