Page 656 of Filthy Elites

“It’s close enough.”

I sigh and draw back, my hands turn sweaty from the unease stirring inside me. “What are you doing here, Chad? It’s Sunday. I know you have better things to do and better people to see.”

“I wanted to see you.”

“You shouldn’t. In a few days, I won’t even exist in your memories, and that’s a good thing.”

“That’s not true. I think you know that.” His glare intensifies.

“I know no such thing, but I know you know what happened to me. I don’t want to talk about it. Especially to you.”

“Why the hell wouldn’t you want to talk to me?”

“Because I couldn’t bear for you to think that maybe I deserved it.”

He stares back at me as if I just slapped him. What I said was horrible, but I can’t forget what he was like when I first met him. As far as I’m concerned, that hasn’t changed.

“How can you say that to me?”

“Chad, to you, my father practically killed your mother. Because you can’t get to him, you want me. You might be happy something bad happened to me.”

“You know deep down that’s not true.”

“Isn’t it? Am I not the devil’s daughter?”

He pauses for a moment like he’s considering something, then shakes his head. I’m not sure if the gesture is in response to my question or his thoughts.

“My mother killed herself,” he says, and I suck in a breath.

“What?”

“My mother killed herself after things went down with your father. Only a few people know that, and now I’ve told you.”

“My God. I feel even worse.”

“That’s not why I told you. I told you because regardless of what pushed her, it was her choice. I wanted someone to blame because I wanted more time with her. You see what it’s like at my house. I don’t actually have a family. She was my everything.” He draws in a deep breath.

“I’m so sorry Chad. I truly am.”

“Thank you. Billie, it rips me up inside that something so bad happened to you, and I don’t care whose daughter you are.”

“You don’t?”

A quiver lances through my stomach when he takes my hands and kisses the tops of them.

“No. I stopped caring a long time ago.”

Relief washes over me, and the burden I didn’t even know I was carrying lifts from my shoulders.

He sits next to me, slips his arm around me, and I rest on his chest.

As his heart beats in my ear, strong and resilient, a comfort I’ve never experienced before surrounds me.

It allows my weary soul to take refuge in his protective arms, and I feel safe and whole. Two things I haven’t felt in so long it’s like pure oxygen in my lungs.

The feeling gives me glimpses of the version of myself I’m trying so hard to find, and I realize I am myself when I’m with him.

* * *

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