Page 76 of Hard Hat Hottie

No. That’s just dumb.Shit. I really need to search Amazon for a Dating for Dummies book.

10:02 p.m.

Harrison

I miss you.

There… that’s the truth, right? But do I have any right to say it, given how absent I’ve been. Maybe I should wait and message when I get home and have enough time to actually see her.

Delete, delete, delete.

Flipping my phone over on the nightstand at my short-term rental, I reach up and rub my chest. The dull ache is back. Maybe I should get an appointment and check this out when I get home.

It’s for the best, holding off on reopening the door to questions I’m not certain I can answer.When will you be back? Do you think we can get together? How’s your mom? The boys want to know if they can come over.Yet my fears about getting backed into a corner with these types of inquiries are all in my head. Because she’s been nothing but respectful. She’s never asked for more than I can give. I’m only feeling guilty because I want to do more but can’t.

While I did receive a short reply from Harlow saying she understood about my needing to rush off before my flight the other day, it felt off. I’m tempted to call her and try to makethings right, but what do I say? I can’t pretend there won’t be more of the same. My life feels so out of control at the moment, I’m surprised I’ve been able to keep my emotions in check at work. Gus is used to my temperament, but I can’t allow my current situation to fray my nerves to the point where I snap. Especially with Braxton and his team.

And the last person who’d deserve that kind of behavior is Harlow.

Harlow

“Boys, I’m going to need to drop you off with your dads early. I have to bring some things by Grandma’s house for when I’m gone.”

I can’t believe it’s almost here. My two weeks of drill each summer is usually here in Florida. We get hit with enough storms across the state that they keep us busy here. But apparently, we’re going global this year.

It wasn’t official until recently, but we’re heading to Germany. We’ll have the opportunity to train some of their military there as well as work on some mutual aid projects. I’ve heard from some other guard members who’ve been able to go overseas that they allow you to have some downtime while you’re there as well. Which is amazing, since this momma rarely has the opportunity to go anywhere except work, little league, and the Jingle Mart.

I have to admit, I was hoping I would’ve heard more from Harrison before I left. Heck, he’s been so absent, I haven’t even told him I’m going. But the texts have been so brief, there really hasn’t felt like there was an opening to start a real conversation.The messages have been short, to the point, pleasantries. More like you’d get from the parent-teacher group. Not a man you’ve seen naked.

The walls have started to go up since I felt the brush off at the emergency room construction site several weeks ago. I know he messaged saying he was busy, but it wouldn’t have taken but a few moments to come say hello. Hell, even a smile would’ve been better than the greeting I got.

I try to remind myself of the pressure he’s under, but heck, life’s not easy for me, either. And I’m tired of being in relationships with people who don’t even try to fit me in, much less make me a priority in their lives. Maybe I went about this all wrong. Perhaps showing him the real me by bringing my boys to his place has backfired.Sheesh, Harlow, you even brought your damn exes over there.

Yet, at the time, he was so open and seemed to want to know whether we could make things work around all of our responsibilities. Had he decided after meeting all of my baggage that it wasn’t worth the hassle?

Grabbing another set of pajamas for each of the boys from the laundry room, I toss it into the bag I’m bringing to Mom’s. She probably has everything they need. They spend enough time there when I’m working. But I haven’t checked lately and they’ve both been having a growth spurt. However, itissummer vacation in Florida. They barely wear anything.

“C’mon, guys. Let’s roll.”

“I can’t believe you get to go to Germany,” Justin says as he rushes down the stairs.

“What’s so cool about Germany?” his brother asks after he jumps halfway down the steps to meet us.

“It’s a country with a whole different set of customs, language, and food,” I mutter aloud.

“And castles!” Justin adds. “You think you’ll get to see any castles?”

“Hmm. I hadn’t thought about that. Maybe?”

“Do they have any tin soldiers out front? Or alligators in the water around the castles?”

I laugh. “I don’t think so.”

“I think they drink a lot of beer there,” Justin says. “And eat pretzels.”

This really makes me giggle. “Have you been googling Germany?”

“Yeah, there are pictures of men in funny short pants and women with braids carrying great big pitches of beer. And the food pictures were of pretzels, sausages, cheese, and something called sauerkraut.”

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