Page 36 of Hard Hat Hottie

My eyes dart about the yard. It no longer has the happy home vibe it did when we first carried Justin through this front door. The place feels dated. And the grass, while cut, is full of crabgrass. Jimmy had been great about performing the “outside” chores when we were married. But from my perspective, he does little more these days than babysit his son two weekends a month, pick up takeout, hang with Rob, and use whatever expendable cash he has placing bets on getting rich quick. If that’s what he wants for himself, it isn’t my place tojudge. I simply need to try harder to ensure my kids don’t think this is an admirable life goal. They deserve a far better future than that.

Justin lifts his hand to knock again, probably wondering as I am what’s taking so long, when the door flies open.

“Hey, we were out back and didn’t hear you. Just came in for a cold one,” Rob says, waving his beer bottle at us like every day’s a frat party.

Grimacing at him, I mutter, “Um, how many of those have you had?”

“Only two. And we know better than to tie one on when the kids are here, Harlow.” His tone rapidly shifts gears from playful to irritable.

“Okay, okay.” I give both of the boys a squeeze before they walk into the house. Turning for the car, my head a thunder keg of emotions, I almost miss Rob speaking behind me. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Har, you okay?” He takes a tentative step forward. “Don’t take this wrong, but you aren’t Superwoman.”

What is that supposed to mean?

The expression on my face must be terse, as Rob lifts both hands up as if he’s surrendering to the enemy. “Until you shared you were struggling and called to ask if we could take the boys a day early, I hadn’t considered how often we’ve let you down.”

I sway, almost falling down the remaining steps in shock.

“Hey, hey.” He reaches out to grab my arms. “What’s wrong?”

God, this week has done a number on me. I haven’t been able to shake that awful night with Stewart when I lost my cool. Not only could I have gotten myself into deep shit with the Guard for causing trouble in a public setting like that, but I’ve never heard anyone talk about me in that way.

I’m a good person. I work hard and take care of my responsibilities. I serve my country, despite the risks involved. And up until that night, I felt good about the way I looked. Why would I allow the petty nastiness of that jackass to cause any self-doubt?

Because you’re human, Harlow.

“It’s just been a really tough week.” I try to sound nonchalant, despite the quaver in my voice.

“Are you sick? I mean, you’ve always been the most beautiful woman on the planet to me, Har, but you don’t look good.”

“Thanks.”

“C’mon, you know what I mean. Do you want to come in?” His face is a mask of unease. Seeing it is starting to chip away at my façade. “You know you can talk to me.”

Looking away, I shake my head, trying to hold back my tears. I called out from work this week for the first time in forever. I just needed a mental health day. Luckily, I was only scheduled for one twelve-hour shift until this weekend. Then it’s back to the evening rotation.Again. It never stops. My life is akin to a hamster on a wheel. “Thanks, Rob,. but I don’t want the boys to see me like this.” I hiccup, trying to push down a sob.

“Is there anything I can do?” His eyes are filled with concern. It reminds me of the early days, when his big heart and bigger personality were all I thought I needed. Until I realized having a husband who could maintain solid employment was an equally important quality.

“You taking them a day early so I can try and get myself together is enough.” I blink away a fat tear that threatens to have them all following suit. “I’ll be okay. I know you two don’t like to veer off of the schedule, so this means a lot to me.”

“Shit, Har. You’ve been getting it done alone for so long, and I’ve just stood by and let it happen. I’m sorry.” I watch,dumbfounded, as Rob stands up tall. “I’m going to do better. By you and the kids.”

Uh, oh.Is there some reason for this abrupt change of face? “Rob?—”

“Harlow, I know that look. I don’t want back in your pants. Okay, well, sure I do. Hell, look at you.” He sweeps his hand from my head to my toes. “There’s a reason I’m still single. There’s no way I’m ever doing better than you.”

A blush hits my cheeks. While I know his lackadaisical approach to life has more to do with his relationship status than I do, I appreciate the thought.

“You never ask for a goddamn thing. Ever. I can’t say I’ll be able to convince Jimmy to do more, but I promise to do better. Any time you need something, ask. Please?” He seems to hesitate for a moment. “Well, if I’m lucky and have a job… or a date…” He chuckles. “I might beg you to let me off the hook, but I really want to be a better friend. You mean the world to me. And I need to show it more.”

Taking the two steps back up to where he stands, I pull him in for a hug and don’t even bother to fight the stream of tears making their way down my face. As I step away, I quickly swipe away at them, for fear the boys could come out looking for Rob and see me like this.

“Babe. What is it? You’re the strongest woman I know. Fuck that. You’re the strongestpersonI know. You’re scaring me.”

“It really isn’t anything. I just let someone get into my head for a minute. I’ll be okay. I think I’m just tired.”

“Well, please don’t go home and cry. We have the boys. Go get dressed up and have a nice dinner.” Rob’s face suddenly morphs as if he’s having a lightbulb moment. “Hey, wait right here.”

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