Page 9 of Hard Hat Hottie

Leaning forward, I make direct eye contact with Snake charmer Stew. “Correction. You said she was your sister. And here I’d been concerned you might have early erectile dysfunction in the bedroom, but I guess it turns out you can’t get it up unless you’re directly related.”

“Related?” The blonde sobers up. “What kinda kink are you into?”

“Harlow,” Stewart interjects.

Spinning on my heel, I head back to the girls. The two of them stare wordlessly as I approach, blinking like mechanical dolls as I practically throw myself back into the booth and bury my face in my hands. “I’m so stupid. Why? Why do I keep picking these losers? Is this all I’m good for?”

“Babe, no,” I hear in stereo.

“Harlow, don’t you dare?—”

“I know, I know.” Dropping my arms down by my side, I slump against the back of the booth, and lift my chin, trying to get myself together. I refuse to shed any tears for him. Not here, at least. There’s no way I’m letting this douche canoe break me.

I’ve never understood it. Regardless of whether you’re tempted during a weak moment or have simply lost interest in your current relationship, everyone deserves to have an adult conversation before their partner moves on. There’s no excuse for cheating. None!

For all the flirting with the hard hat hottie at my job, it was simply that. Flirting. A frivolous way to temporarily focus on something imaginary before starting another gloomy shift surrounded by illness, injury, or death. I’d never act on it. I’d never even go so far as to allow anyone to believe it was real.

Mainly me.

But if I did want to act on it, I’d break it off with whomever I was seeing first. I mean, we’re grown-ups here. Right?

A half-hearted laugh escapes my lips as I discover my friends are simultaneously pushing their cocktails in my direction. It’s clear who needs the leaded version at this table.

“I’m so done with men,” I utter before lifting one of the glasses to my mouth.

“They truly aren’t worth it unless you’re using them for sex,” Sadie exclaims.

“And sometimes, not even then,” I admit. Sex with Stewart hadn’t been over the top. But it was more than I’d had in a long time. And as dissatisfying as it often was, it was still nice to share a bed with another warm body on occasion.One that wasn’t wearing Spiderman pajamas. But once again, look where that got me.

Stewart and I had met through the National Guard. Relationships in the Guard are frowned upon, but we were of the same rank and assigned to different units. We’d managed to keep everything on the down low, but wouldn’t have gotten into trouble the way an officer would for dating an enlisted member.

After my second divorce, when I’d moved back in with my mother, my tail between my legs, I had to make some tough decisions. I had two small boys to provide for and was no longer going to count on any man for our future. There was a National Guard recruiting station near the Gingerbread Man bakery where I go when I need a pick me up. It had lingered in the background of the strip mall for so long, until one fateful day when I decided to stop in for more information. Turns out they had a stellar benefits package. One weekend a month of drill and two weeks of training per year in exchange for a modest sign-on bonus, tuition assistance, health insurance for me and the boys, as well as access to a VA home loan. And to top it all off, having a job as a medic with the National Guard on my resume helped edge out other applicants when I was trying to get in to nursing school. I’d applied to a competitive undergraduate program at the University of Miami. While my grades were good, they weren’t perfect. So, the extra edge was welcome.

Glancing over at Stewart, it appears he and his companion are no longer indulging in their clingy behavior from earlier. Swallowing hard, I drop my head back against the booth behindme. Although I’d been a good student in grade school, I’ve apparently not been so sharp at life lessons.

Slowly shaking my head from side to side against the hard wood behind me, I recall my mother’s reaction the day I announced my decision to join the Guard. She’d been so upset. Her mind quickly going to the what if’s. What if I was deployed? What if I got hurt? What if…? fill in the blank. I mean, she was right to consider all of this. I honestly hadn’t. But I’d never felt so sure of any decision I’d ever made.

In hindsight, it wasn’t right not to consult her. My unreliable exes didn’t step up to offer to care for their boys while I was away. Heck, they weren’t even flexible, refusing to change weekends when I was at drill. While I could’ve forced their hands if Mom said she wasn’t available, I knew my children were much better off with her. Deep down, I believed she’d do whatever was necessary to accommodate us. And I was determined. What’s the old adage? Sometimes it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

I’ve proudly served for four years, solely focused on providing for myself and my kids. I managed to find a few temp jobs as a nursing assistant while I was in school and kept my eyes on the prize. There was only room in my chaotic life for three things. Work, kids, school. Nothing else.

I continued to give my all as a medic with the Guard. I’ve only been deployed on a few occasions, all of which were to assist those affected by treacherous tropical storms in the area. Afterward, I’d returned to my normal life with school and the kids. It wasn’t until Stewart started making his interests known a year ago that I considered letting a man back into my life.

We’d met while away on deployment after a category three hurricane tore through the Gulf of Mexico. It started as innocent banter when bumping into each other. But when his responses became more flirty, I took the bait.

I admit it. I was lonely. It’d been years of being responsible and, for an overworked girl in her twenties, it felt nice to have someone interested in something other than my work availability, group projects, orwhat’s for dinner?

The temptation was more enticing than I expected once I realized he lived in the neighboring town. His was even sleepier than Candy Cane Key, but he was on the road a lot for work as a traveling physician assistant. He had no ties to his community beyond the National Guard, so he accepted contracts for ER jobs in underserved areas where they were short staffed at a premium. Most lasted about twelve weeks and included housing. It was a win-win for him, and I was thrilled to be dating someone who had such a good work ethic after my marriage to Rob. The fact it kept me from diving into another relationship headfirst was an added bonus.

Stewart agreed we needed to keep things on the down low. Even though we were dual military and not in the same unit, it was best not to draw attention to one another. So, a long distance, very infrequent dating life began. He knew of my children, but I was going to be smarter about men from now on. He’d been respectful of the fact I’d wanted to wait to introduce them until we agreed this relationship was serious.

Good thing.

Now I can’t help but assume the long-distance thing worked for him for a whole different reason. A girl in every port and all that.

“I should’ve known. It was all too easy,” I mutter, picking at my cocktail napkin.

“They’re all the same. It’s all about them. Aaron’s always going somewhere for his job. He’s not home long enough to need a mailbox. But he won’t even consider moving with me to work as a travel nurse. I told him I’d make bank, and we could save the money needed for an apartment since they cover housing too.”Sadie huffs. “Maybe I need to do a little digging and make sure he isn’t pulling a Stewart on me.” She grimaces.

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