Page 85 of Hard Hat Hottie

“No. I’m fine. Let’s get to work. I’m certain by the end of the night, you’ll find someone worthy of taking your aggression out on.”

As we walk inside, Sadie walks ahead to clock in while Shay pulls me aside before heading up to the ICU for her shift.

“Harlow. What happened? I thought this guy was different.”

“Yeah, me too. I’m trying to tell myself it was bad timing. But I introduced him to my kids. And even Jimmy and Rob. NowI’m thinking it was too much.” I turn away, feeling myself get a little too emotional. “I don’t know, Shay. After taking my time with Stewart, I didn’t want to waste another year with someone who wasn’t going to treat me well. So, I put all of my eggs in one basket and basically dumped them in his lap.”

“Are you sure that’s it? Did he pull away right after that?”

I think back to the evening we spent together in the shower. “No. It was later.”

“Then thiscould bebad timing. I mean, his mom fell and has been having a tough time, right? I think you should talk to him. In person. If nothing else, you’ll stop playing mind games with yourself long enough to move on if you need to.”

My head falls, and I take a fortifying breath, knowing I need to do something. I have a long shift in front of me and don’t need thoughts of Harrison making my work any harder. Shay’s probably right. Because I’ve let my mind wander to him so many times, wondering what happened. Is it me? My baggage?

“Thanks, Shay. I might do just that.”

Standing in front of the mirror, I try to give myself a pep talk. “You’ve got this, Harlow. Worst- case scenario, he tells you he’s not interested and wants to be friends. Right?” Harrison has been nothing but polite when we communicate.

It’s just that we barely communicate.

But Shay is right. I need to go over there and have the conversation. If nothing else, only to have closure. My face falls.

Even if I don’t really want closure.

What I want is a Candy Cane Key Christmas miracle. I want him to pull me into his arms and say he’s sorry he let me get away. And yes, let’s work on this. Yet the closer I get to talking tohim after all of this time, the more I know it’s likely not going to have the outcome I want.

Grabbing my bag, I head for the car. I know he’s a morning person, but he doesn’t typically work on Saturdays. If he doesn’t answer, I might just stop by the construction site at the hospital and see if he’s there. One way or the other, I need to take control of this situation. I don’t want to continue to feel rejected if he’s just as overwhelmed with life as I’ve felt lately.

I make the short drive to his home far too quickly. I was supposed to rehearse what I was going to say before I got?—

Wait. Who is?—?

Looking through my driver’s side window, I find Harrison hugging a curvy redhead. And not the redhead I’ve seen previously. This one is new. He’s got his arms wrapped tightly around her back, pulling her against him. It’s early, on a Saturday morning, at his home, and he’s wearing those low-slung gray shorts I’ve dreamed about so many times before.

Why am I still sitting here watching this? This is torture. But as I start to pull away, he withdraws just long enough to place a tender kiss on her cheek and that’s all it takes.

My heart literally feels like it’s being torn in two. A fat tear tumbles down my cheek. This feels even worse than packing my bags with a kid on my hip.Or two.I was so determined and confident then. As sad as it was my marriage was over, I knew I was doing the right thing. Me and my boys deserved better. But this feels personal. A rejection one hundred times worse than anything Stewart may have done. Because deep down, I knew Stewart wasn’t the one. Yet I’d convinced myself somehow, Harrison was.

What’s wrong with me? I barely knew this man but fell harder than I had with anyone else. I have no right to be mad at him. It’s not his fault I felt more for him than he had for me. Butagain, we’re grownups. Would it have been that difficult for him to say he wasn’t interested?

Covering my mouth with my hand to contain my sobs, I chastise myself for letting this upset me so. I can’t be shocked by this. He’s been pulling away for weeks. And Harrison is a red-blooded man with needs. We never professed to be in a committed relationship. It’s clear I was a temporary itch he scratched, regardless of all the sweet things he said. Or the way he looked at me.

His lines are likely well-rehearsed. Just like all the rest. He probably had no intention of more. That’s why it didn’t bother him when I brought all my baggage over. He knew they weren’t staying. With the exception of theI miss youtext, he’s nearly ghosted me over the last month or more.

However, knowing this doesn’t make it hurt any less. Because deep down, I honestly thought he was different.

Glancing back in their direction, I let the pain tear through me like a well-honed blade. I need this sensation burned into my memory banks so I never let this happen again. Some women were born to find their happily ever afters. While others are apparently here to singlehandedly raise children who they hope will find a mate they can grow old with but have the self-respect to go it alone if they don’t. It’s clear what camp I’m in.

Watching the confident, voluptuous woman with pale, unmarked skin and long red hair wave over her shoulder at Harrison as she heads for Barnacle Bob’s car, it’s also clear he has a type.

And I’m not it.

CHAPTER THIRTY

HARRISON

Walking toward the deck from the shore, I look up into the sky. Not a cloud in sight. “You’d like it today. Perfect temperature, just a mild breeze,” I say out loud, as if she can hear me. Plopping myself down on my step, I lean to one side and retrieve my phone. I forgot I’d brought it along.

---