Page 15 of Sunflowers and Surrender

“Cheers to a great weekend,”Dad says as we all clink our champagne glasses.

Ithadbeen a great weekend. But what did I think was going to happen? Alex is here with his girlfriend.

“It’s a shame Alex and Ainsley aren’t here,” Mom says.

“I think they wanted to have a romantic dinner together before the cruise was over,” Dad tosses out over his Beef Wellington.

I put my utensils down, feeling heartsick. I’ve lost my appetite at the thought of them together.

“She probably had an outfit hanging in her closet that hadn’t gotten any attention,” Ricky mutters before Julia elbows him in the ribs.

“Be nice,” she says under her breath.

“I don’t really get what he sees in that one,” my mother whispers, leaning into me.

I can’t make eye contact with anyone, or I worry I’ll tear up. What was I thinking, allowing my mind to dream of something happening with him? He’s a player. That’s just what he does, right? Years of longing have clouded my brain. That and that hypnotizing kiss.

I take a few more nibbles of my entrée, pushing my food about my plate wanting to escape to my room. Leaning in toward my mother, I say, “I’m not feeling well. I think all of the sun and rich food has caught up with me. I think I’ll get a jump start on packing up for tomorrow and get a good night’s sleep.”

“Oh, honey. Do you want me to come with you?”

“No. Enjoy your dinner. I’m okay. It’s been a great trip. Thank you for everything.” I stand from my chair and head to my stateroom after a chorus of goodnights. I’m giving myself this one night to cry it out. One night. Once I get off this ship, I’ll leave my memories of last night and Alex Bell behind.

Chapter 12

Alex

“You’re breaking up with me?”

I knew this would go down this way. All day I tried to devise the best way to end this. It would’ve been much simpler to do on land. Yet there was no way I could explain why I didn’t want to have sex with her. It was our last night on the ship, and I’d barely touched her beyond holding her hand or a kiss on the cheek the whole trip. But I needed to rip the band-aid off once and for all.

Avoiding deep and meaningful conversations with Ainsley until we made it back to our stateroom for the evening wasn’t tricky. I decided to take her to dinner, hoping it would soften the blow. She had an excuse to wear another outlandish outfit and spend the entire evening focusing on about her favorite subject.Her.

“Ainsley, this just isn’t working anymore. This was never supposed to be serious. You were okay with casual when we first started going out. But now we spend every waking breath together. I’m just not ready for all of this.”

“We can go back to casual. I thought you liked spending time with me, that’s all.”

“Ainsley, you’re a nice girl. But you like the party scene and dressing up to go out with your friends. I’m the total opposite. I’m stonewashed jeans, and you’re Chanel.”

“Chanel is so last decade,” she huffs.

“See. You’re making my point. I don’t know one designer from the other.”

“Well, it’s only because I study fashion in college. Of course, you wouldn’t know them. I could teach you.”

“I don’t want to know them. That’s the point. You deserve to be with someone who enjoys giving you opportunities to get dressed up. Show you off. This cruise was a one-off. I would’ve never done this for the two of us. It was merely because the Palmers invited us to celebrate Tuesday’s birthday.” I wince as I complete the sentence. I can’t take any chances she’ll put two and two together and discover my feelings for the youngest Palmer are why we’re breaking up.

Ainsley was a fun time. Until she wasn’t. I hate that it ever came to this. I should never have taken it beyond friends with benefits. I admit her looks and the need to focus on someone other than my best friend’s off-limits little sister allowed this to morph into more than I wanted. But this girl is not only shallow but spiteful. She has no problem causing drama if it gets her more attention. And I can’t allow Tuesday to fall victim to her.

Picking up the pillow from my side of the bed, I head over to the narrow couch and plop down.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t expect you to want to sleep in the same bed after I called it quits with you.”

Ainsley slinks in my direction, dropping her hands on my chest. “Awe, come on. One more night, for old times’ sake?”

“No,” I blurt.

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