Page 60 of The Proximity Effect

Archer’s thumb stilled on my arm. “I was thinking you could stay with us in the cabin. Give Declan the room.”

I jerked back like he’d suggested I take up competitive snake juggling. “Absolutely not. I am not giving up my room because he decided to crash my sad-girl honeymoon turned sexual awakening vacation. That’s exactly what men like him expect, that we’ll accommodate their wants and needs without considering our own. Well, not this time, buddy. I’ve evolved. I’m like a Pokémon, but instead of shooting lightning, I now have self-respect and boundaries and a new appreciation for?—”

“Tessa.” Archer cut off my rambling with a gentle squeeze of my arm, his eyes dancing with barely suppressed amusement. “This isn’t about letting him win. Trust me, nothing would give me more satisfaction than telling him to pound snow. But he’s...” Archer’s jaw tightened as he looked over at the lobby where Liam and Evan were still talking to Declan. “He’s creating a scene, and I’m worried about how it might affect the other guests. The last thing we need is a ragey twatwaffle making everyone uncomfortable during a snowstorm.”

I snorted at his choice of words, the tension in my shoulders easing slightly. “Twatwaffle? And here I thought you only spoke in carefully crafted paragraphs and legal jargon.”

“Evan’s vocabulary is unfortunately contagious.” A small smile played at the corners of his mouth. “But my point stands.”

“I guess you’re right.” My brain helpfully supplied new scenarios to panic about. “But what if we get snowed in? Like,reallysnowed in and can’t get out of the cabin because the snow covers the door? What if we run out of food? What if the powergoes out and we have to huddle for warmth like penguins? What if—” I gasped as a truly horrifying thought struck me. “What if we run out of coffee? I’ve seen me without coffee, Archer. It’s not pretty. There’s usually crying and inappropriate use of kitchen utensils.”

Archer’s eyes crinkled with amusement. “The cabin has a generator, a wood-burning stove, enough food and water to survive an apocalypse, and I personally stocked the coffee supply. We’ll be fine.”

“You say that now, but what if?—”

He silenced me with a quick kiss that left me momentarily dazed. “Go pack, and we’ll take your bags over. We’ll handle Declan.”

I nodded, my lips still tingling. “Fine. But if we end up having to eat each other to survive, I want it noted that I’m probably very tough and gamey.”

He threw his head back and laughed, and I tried very hard not to think about how much I liked the sound of it. Or how it made me feel like this disaster might turn out okay after all.

Chapter 21

That Time with the Traffic Cone

Archer

Iwatched from the host stand as Declan pushed the remainder of his dessert around his plate, his eyes scanning the dining room like a hawk searching for its prey. I knew exactly who he was waiting for, and it made my blood boil. He’d given up any right to Tessa’s time or attention when he’d called off their wedding; yet here he was, acting like he had a claim on her.

I couldn’t reconcile the fact that Tessa had been engaged to Declan. Not because he was a monster—although his constant complaining was certainly pushing him into that territory—but because he was so... bland. The man had the personality of a beige wall and the conversational skills of a dull tax seminar. How could someone as vibrant and full of life as Tessa have ever considered spending the rest of her life with someone like him?

Evan sidled up next to me, following my gaze. “He’s still here.” His voice was laced with the same annoyance I felt. “He’s like a persistent rash.”

I snorted, shaking my head. “He probably wants to try and talk things out with Tessa again.”

Evan rolled his eyes. “Well, we can’t have that. She’s finally starting to relax and enjoy herself. We can’t let the human equivalent of unseasoned chicken ruin it.”

I couldn’t help but smirk as Evan and I exchanged a look, a silent agreement passing between us. We couldn’t physically remove Declan, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t make him uncomfortable enough to leave on his own accord. It was childish, sure, but there was a certain thrill in petty revenge. It reminded me of the pranks we used to pull in college before life got complicated.

“What’s the plan?” Liam joined us, his eyes landing on Declan. “Are we going to jump him or what?”

I glanced around the dining room, an idea forming in my mind. “We make him uncomfortable, but subtly. We don’t want to disturb the other guests.”

Evan grinned, rubbing his hands together like a villain plotting world domination. “I’m in. What do you have in mind?”

I nodded towards the thermostat on the wall, fighting back my own smirk. “Phase one: Operation Freeze Out.” It wasn’t my most creative plan, but sometimes the classics worked best. Besides, Declan had shown up in a thin designer sweater that looked expensive but provided about as much warmth as tissue paper.

“I’ll go turn the thermostat down.” Liam was already moving toward the thermostat with the stealth of someone who’d had plenty of practice at subtle sabotage. He paused, throwing a conspiratorial look over his shoulder. “You know, for energy efficiency purposes. We’re being environmentally conscious here.”

Sure enough, within minutes, Declan started shifting uncomfortably in his seat, rubbing his arms. He looked around,confused, gathered his unfinished glass of wine, and relocated to the bar area where several other guests were enjoying after-dinner drinks.

“Well, that backfired spectacularly.” I watched Declan settle into his new spot like an unwanted houseguest who wouldn’t take the hint. “Now he’s even closer to the kitchen.” In trying to protect Tessa, we’d managed to position him exactly where she’d be most likely to run into him. Some master strategist I was turning out to be.

“We need something more... targeted.” Evan stroked his chin in an exaggerated way.

Liam’s face lit up with unholy glee. “I have an idea. Phase two: Operation Peggy. Archer, you’re the only one who can pull this off with a straight face.”

“Peggy?” I was confused at first, and then my face might as well have erupted in flames. “No.”

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