Page 52 of As You Ice It

This big, solid man doesn’t seem like he’d be afraid of anything. It feels strangely empowering to know that he’s scared of this too. Maybe two scared people together can be brave enough.

“I shouldn’t have given up on you and Liam,” Camden says. “I should have driven back the way I wanted to. I’ve thought about this over and over—I even considered leaving mid-season and returning to Oakley. I just …” His face falls, and his thumb stills on my cheek. “I believed you when you said you wanted me to go.”

He looks like there’s more he wants to say, but then he presses his lips together, his gaze sweeping over my face.

This is by far the worst and most painful conversation I’ve ever had. A big part of me still wants to choose avoidance and just run. Another part of me wants to let go of Camden’s shirt, which I’m still clutching in both fists, and wrap my arms around him, pulling him close while telling him how sorry I am.

I’ve been miserable for so many months, convinced that our breakup must not have mattered to him the way it did me. I didn’t ever consider that he might be harboring the same fears and the same hurt. Not when he said the breakup was the right choice.

I rejected him only to be rejected right back.

My tears started as soon as our phone call ended, but they didn’t really hit their peak until I’d run across the road—almost getting mowed down by tourists driving a golf cart—and onto the beach where I sprinted straight into the ocean in my clothes. The wet, salty slap of waves mixed with my tears. The ocean’s roar drowned out my sobs.

I’d never known heartbreak until that moment. Sad songs always felt a little melodramatic to me. The dark moments in romantic movies always had me rolling my eyes.

Even when my brother was miserable after Eloise left for grad school, I thought he was being a little over the top. Even if Eloise is amazing and totally worth him winning her back.

Finally, standing in waist-deep water and being knocked around, I understood what it felt like to have your chest cracked open and to have all the good things spill out, lost and ruined.

The echo of those feelings now rise in a painful wave. Liam wasn’t the main—or at least—the only reason I broke up with Camden.

It was self-preservation, pure and simple. The fear of exactly what happened: I fell in love, and I got really hurt. Even if it was set in motion by my own hand.

“I guess we both weren’t quite honest. With each other or with ourselves?”

“That’s a good assessment,” Camden says. Then he chuckles softly. “I didn’t plan to have any part of this conversation in a hallway beside the bathrooms.”

His lips curve up in the smallest smile. “Look, you obviously have somewhere to be, and I need to politely tell whatever-her-name-is that she’s not getting the job. Or my number.”

“Want me to tell her?” I offer.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea,” Camden says. “Please know this: I don’t want to do the lack of communication or miscommunication thing with you anymore. I’m not good at this relationship … stuff. I don’t know what I’m doing or how to do it or even what you want. But wewilltalk about this tomorrow—aboutus. About a future. You. Me. Liam. Some complications in my own life.”

I suck in a breath, and this draws his gaze to my lips. Almost immediately, he jerks back up to my eyes.

“Are you agreeable to this?”

“That sounds very formal, sir.”

Camden narrows his eyes. “Answer the question, Naomi.”

“Yes. I agree to your proposal.” I realize what I’ve said when his eyes crinkle with laughter. “Not that kind of proposal! I was just trying to match your weird formal language. Shut up.”

He’s laughing now, but as I try to wiggle away, he stops. His gaze darkens, and he places both palms flat against the wall on either side of my head. A shiver of delight rolls through me as he leans close.

It feels like we’ve gone from arguing to digging out emotional turmoil to now … something very deliciously different.

Camden’s eyes narrow as he studies me.

“You look like you need convincing.”

“Do I?” I say breathlessly.

“You look like you still have half a mind to run.”

“I’m good at running.”

“Then I promise to be better at chasing. For now, I’ll give you some food for thought.”

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