Page 67 of The Serendipity

Judith leans forward again, her expression somehow both sharp and soft as she says, “Don’t downplay your accomplishments. Honor them. Repeat them. Then build on them.”

I nod numbly, understanding and accepting what she says on an intellectual, logical level. On an emotional level, however, I’m frustrated with myself that what counts as something to celebrate is so very small.

Serendipity Springs is a great place to live. I didn’t grow up with grand plans to move to a bigger city or travel the world. But now that I’m trapped, I think about all the places I’d go if I could. Beaches. Islands. Mountains.

Not Paris. But maybe London or Venice?

I’d fly on a plane and ride in a boat. Try snowboarding or scuba diving (not in the same location, obviously) or zip lining.

I’m not sure I’d like all of these activities or if I’d want to try them under normal circumstances. But being stuck has me dreaming big. Even if I’m not necessarily being brave or doing the hard work I should be doing.

“And how was seeing Trey?” Judith’s question about my ex is actually a welcome change of topic.

“I thought it would be worse. My mom dropped the engagement bomb, so I was mentally prepared for that.”

Mom did not, however, mention Trey was engaged toMel, and I’m still debating how to bring this up. Or if I should. Right now, I’m too hurt.

Ever since my diagnosis, my parents have struggled to speak hard truths—or any truths, really—to me. Which makes me feel worse about everything and more out of sorts. As an only child,I had the kind of upbringing where my parents treated me like a mini adult. But now, I’m an adult being treated more like a baby.

“It was awkward, but I didn’t feel heartbroken, which I’ll take as a win.”

“Good,” Judith says, her mouth a firm line. Though she’s never actually said as much out loud, I get the sense she doesn’t like Trey.

I can’t blame her. I’m not sure how much I like him either.

And to think—you camethis closeto marrying him.

I would have, too, had he not proposed in the way he did, making our future contingent on one he’d planned without me. Or plannedforme, even knowing the struggles I was just starting to parse through.

Honestly, this has sabotaged every dating relationship I’ve tried to have since. If I could besowrong about Trey andsoready to marry him, how can I trust my own judgment?

Then there’s the pesky matter of thinking about dating and having to tell a guy,Oh, by the way, I can’t leave Serendipity Springs. Hope you like it here and sorry for the inconvenience!

My only gauge for knowing how a guy might respond to this is Trey. Who sent a message loud and clear: You’re broken, and I can fix you by giving you an impossible ultimatum!

So, it’s no surprise I’m not eager to lead off with this information.

I remember the potent feeling of nausea I felt staring down at Trey’s earnest face, as he was on one knee with a velvet box in his hand. I didn’t even see the ring.

All I could see was his lack of understanding.

It felt like being given some kind of loyalty test by a person you thought you’d already proven yourself to. A kick in the gut instead of a kiss.

But in a way, he was the one who set up a test and then failed it himself.

Bullet dodged! Thanks, agoraphobia, for saving me from a marriage mistake!

For some reason, this makes me think of Archer, saving me in the grocery store. Or not saving me, really, but stepping in. And telling me that Trey and Mel didn’t seem like friends. The thought warms my heart a little bit, and I almost forget I’m still in a therapy session.

Until Judith jumps in with another question.

“Did this leave you feeling a new sense of closure? And maybe make you more open to a relationship?”

Heat shoots up my neck and across my cheeks. “A relationship with myboss?Isn’t that unethical? I’m a little surprised you’re suggesting that.”

“I didn’t suggest it.” Judith smiles. “In fact, I wasn’t thinking about your boss—Archer, was it?—when I mentioned a relationship. But clearly, you were.”

She’s got me there.

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