Page 137 of Runaway Bride and Prejudice

“You seem very much like you belong in the second category.”

His smile is wry. “I can when it’s with someone like your dad. Or my teammates.”

He pauses, and I catch him tapping his index fingers on his arms, which are still crossed over his chest. A tell, maybe?

“But this is the first real relationship I’ve had. This is uncharted water for me, and I did some avoiding of my own. Not telling you the second your dad offered me his deal.” Van shakes his head. “I was already walking to the airport. Before his call. Your dad had absolutely nothing to do with me getting on that plane.”

This shouldn’t matter to me as much as it does. “Really?”

“Promise. I just … didn’t tellhimthat. And then I didn’t tellyouwhat he said. Stupid,” Van says, shaking his head. “I made multiple stupid decisions, and I’m sorry.”

“Like marrying me.” I mean it as a joke, but Van’s face closes down. He straightens, dropping his arms and shoving his hands in his pockets. I scramble to fix it somehow but come up empty.

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you like,” Van says finally. “Make yourself at home.”

I want to take back my words, but it’s like all the talking I’ve done has leached all the bravery from my bones. So, I just follow his lead, stepping back into the shallows.

“Really—I don’t need to take your bed, Van. Just put me on the couch. It’s fine.”

A smile curves one side of his mouth. “You’re safer in here. With a lock.” He must read the look of alarm on my face, because he chuckles darkly. “I don’t mean safe fromme. You don’t need to worry aboutthat.”

“Oh.” Worry isn’t the word for how I was feeling about that. But I guess after my failed joke about our marriage, I shouldn’t be surprised.

“My sisters,” he explains as color rises in my cheeks. “I wouldn’t leave you out there unattended.” Van glances toward the door. “They’re as protective of me as I am of them. But”—he raises his voice, again glancing behind him—“I’m sure they’ll be on their best behavior now,won’t they?”

There’s a thump outside the door. Then a giggle.

“They’re listening to us?” I whisper, horrified.

Van rolls his eyes, but I can see the barely restrained amusement. “I’m sure my sisters wouldneverstand outside my bedroom door, eavesdropping. But if they were, they’d bring me a bottle of water from the fridge.”

“Yes, sir!” a faintly muffled voice calls from outside the door. More giggling. Footsteps move away along with whispered voices.

“What’s that look?”

“I just … I thought I’d meet your sisters under different circumstances.”

I still vividly remember the phone call with Grey and Lex in Florida. Hearing them bicker back and forth, arguing about their tradition of trading cheese points for information.

I’d felt a sense of longing, an ache to be part of a close-knit group like this. A family.

Or to be part oftheirclose-knit group. Their family.

Van clears his throat. “So did I,” he says, and we exchange a weighted glance.

It’s weird because it’s like we’re staring at each other across an ocean or some deep gorge, not across his bedroom. We’re sharing a look and the same sentiment. Regret is etched into his face, same as mine.

The thing is … I’m not sure if it’s a shared regret or an opposite one.

What I know is that I’m no longer certain of what the path forward should be. I had started to think maybe we should undo what we did—starting with talking to Summer about an annulment—and then consider dating. Like normal people do. Getting to know each other. Taking it step by step with all the normal milestones in their proper order.

Then, if there is still this tug and pull between us, the sense of rightness when we’re together,thenwe get married. The right way—with our family and friends and the whole thing.

But I’m not so sure that’s what I want, and it makes me feel like the bottom is dropping out of my life. It’s the first step off the zip line platform, only right now, I’m not entirely sure I have a harness. One step might be the most exhilarating ride.

Or it might be a messy death.

“Van,” I say, digging deep to find the words. “Do you want to get an annulment? If … it’s even possible at this point.”

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