Page 70 of Psycho

“Fuck.”

It’s a lot of ground to cover with little light, and waiting until daybreak is not an option. I’ll stab anyone who even suggests it.

Reaper turns his flashlight on.

“I’ll stay with you. Watch the ground, if this asshole likes traps.”

We move into the woods, slowly, everybody with flashlights except for me, as I call for her.

“Hadley!”

My heart sinks as I call for her again, and get no response.

Reaper says, “Don’t do that. There could be many reasons why she isn’t answering. Until you can see with your own eyes that your worst fear is true, she’s alive.”

Bones yells out to us confirming our suspicions.

“There’s traps.”

Kage warns immediately after, “We found two. Be careful.”

Just after that, we spot three, one after the other. Jesus Christ.

“She’s in a trap,” I speak low, more to myself than anybody else, but Reaper agrees.

“Probably, but people live through that.”

Do they? I don’t know shit about fucking bear traps. I’ve never used one. I don’t see the point. It seems a little more humane to shoot a goddamn bear, instead of setting traps.

The emotion fills me, as I realize this woman wanted to take my brothers down, along with me, yet here they are. Is it because they know I care, on some level? Or is it because we all remember little Hadley? All of us except for Reaper, because he was little when she left us. Still, they’re here with me, even though I know they’re pissed at me. As if he can hear the words rambling through my brain, Reaper glances at me.

“It doesn’t matter. You’re our brother. A bad decision doesn’t change that.”

“I think it was more than a bad decision.”

He chuckles low and says, “I think you made me look good for a change. Thanks for that, by the way. Psycho, man, you don’t get it. The three of us, Bones, Kage, and myself, are assholes. We do terrible things to people, regularly. Me, probably, more than them, but it doesn’t mean you don’t have a fucking heart. I already know that’s why you did it. She scares you, and you couldn’t deal with it.”

We move forward a little more, catching sight of more traps, and it pisses me off, but I keep my conversation going with my little brother.

“Dad always taught us that if someone was against us, they were to be eliminated. It’s how I’ve always operated. I don’t know another way.”

He shakes his head like I’m an idiot.

“You have to find another way. Don’t admit it, I don’t give a fuck, but you love this woman. We wouldn’t be out here if you didn’t.”

I palm my face with irritation.

“Jesus. I should’ve gone with one of them.”

Again, he stares at me like I’m an idiot.

“You think they don’t love their wives? They do. Fine. Answer this, asshole. Can you let her go, like Bones wants you to? Can you let her walk out the door, and let her live her life without you?”

I rub at that spot on my chest that keeps fucking burning, as I walk, and look all around me.

Where the fuck is she?

“No. I can’t. It won’t fucking happen.”

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