Page 51 of Sin

I haven’t cried since my mom died. After shedding tears for weeks, I swore I never would again. Yet here I am, letting them fall. I’m terrified I’ll never get the chance to tell her what I need to. If she dies, I never will.

Taking her hand in mine, I lean down and kiss her small fingers. “I imagined your eyes being open when I tell you this, baby, but I can’t wait any longer. I love you too. I regret not saying it when you did. I didn’t know. How are you supposed to know what love feels like? I sure as hell didn’t. Now I know, it feels like you’re dying when you might lose it. The painin my chest watching you suffer is excruciating. If given the opportunity, I’d change places with you in a heartbeat. I love you, baby girl. Please stay with me.”

CHAPTER 35

SIN

In the span of three and a half weeks, she had seven seizures, and woke up a grand total of three times. I’m a fucking wreck. Every day is more terrifying than the one before. I’m not a negative person, but staring at the person you love in this state will drag any man to a dark place. It doesn’t get much darker than this. It feels like I’m trapped inside a hell of my own making. One I deserve after I all but trapped her in my apartment with fucking gang members. I kept her locked up in my apartment to keep her safe when‌ she was better off on her own. The guilt festers in my gut like an oozing fucking wound. I lay with my head on her mattress. I’m so tired, but there’s no way I’ll get more than an hour's sleep at a time until they tell me she's going to live, which they haven’t.

I must be dreaming because I feel fingers brushing the stubble on my face.

“Daddy.”

I’m afraid to open my eyes and find her asleep. Ghostly. Pale skin that tells me how sick she is, a foreshadowing of what’s coming. Her death. My life sentence in hell.

“Daddy.”

Lifting my head, I open my eyes and find the most beautiful blue ones staring back at me. The emotion overwhelms me, the heartbreak of finding her the way I did, the pure joy of her now staring back at me, the regret of not being the man she needed me to be, all the feelings crash into each other and the one woman who deserves my strength gets none. I am supposed to be the strongest man she knows, always in control, and a rock. All that is gone as I breakdown.

CHAPTER 36

KIERRA

Ilay here in the hospital watching Sin sob into his hands, and I don’t know what’s causing it.

“Did something happen?”

He breaks out into laughter, which only makes me more confused, gets out of his chair and walks over to me, places his hands on my face, “For nearly a fucking month, I thought I lost you. I watched you nearly die in front of me repeatedly. And now your beautiful eyes are open and you’re talking to me. So yeah, baby girl, something happened. I love you. Please never put me through this again.”

I gasp at his words, “You what?”

He stares at me with a heated gaze and my heart pounds like a machine gun as I worry slightly that the heart monitor will go off. Did he say he loved me? Or did I imagine it? Or maybe I’m asleep and dreaming because he was awfully adamant before that he would not admit to having feelings for me. He moves closer and all the breath escapes from my lungs.

Sin chuckles lightly. His face is close enough I feel his breath on my face. “I love you.”

He leans in to kiss me, and I turn my head. “No!”

Pulling back slightly, he arches an eyebrow. “No?”

“No.”

“You’re killing me right now. Why no?”

A light giggle escapes from me. “I don’t even remember the last time I brushed my teeth. I need a toothbrush first.”

Sin shakes his head. “They’ve been cleaning your mouth several times a day, and really, I don’t fucking care either way.”

Leaning down further, he groans, “I don’t want to hurt you. Keep your hands down, you are still healing.”

I dart my tongue out and lick my dry lips and he groans again, “So beautiful. Always so beautiful.”

He presses his lips to mine in what I know is a restrained kiss. He slides his tongue into my mouth gently, a contrast to the way Sin normally is with me, but I like it.

Never taking his eyes from mine, he grabs the buzzer and rings the nurse and he barks orders when she answers.

“Get the doctor in here immediately.”

I roll my eyes, “Ever hear that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?”

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