Page 63 of Cruel Redemption

“Ivan?” Her eyes narrowed.

I nodded. “Yes. The Sovietnik before me.” I remained calm. My voice like ice. “My father’s brother. Your father took him out before you arrived to sow chaos in the Novikov organization.”

She shook her head. “I don’t care. I don’t want to know. Just go. Nothing you say is believable. Truthful. Honest. You’re a fucking liar.”

I took another step toward her, blocking her reach for the fireplace utensils.

“That’s not true. You’re mine, Amara. Dusha moya. My soul.”

“No. Stop saying that. Don’t ever call me that again. You kidnapped me. You made me your prisoner.”

I inhaled. “I didn’t have a choice,” I responded.

“Of course you had a choice!” she screamed.

I inched closer, eyeing her. “I did. You’re right.”

She seethed. “So go. The lie is over. You got your Novikov revenge. Go.”

I shook my head. Our eyes locked just as I grabbed her wrist with a firm hold. She tried to wrestle free, but I brought her against my body.

“Let me go.” She pounded on my chest with heavy thuds with one free hand while I pinned the other behind her back.

“I will never let you go.” I waited for her to still.

“I can’t love you anymore. You have to know that.” Her breathing softened. “Keeping me like this proves nothing.” I saw the way her eyes flickered.

“I had a choice. You are right. It was either kill you with your father, or make sure you never had any knowledge of who was behind the attack. I had a choice to rid this world of you. I had a choice to breathe, knowing you no longer did. I could either handle the directive myself, or resign as Sovietnik and know you would be murdered in your bed because my father ordered it so. You are right, kotyonok. I did have a choice. And I chose you. For you to live. To have joy. To have success. To love you from an ocean away. I chose to keep the secret, knowing if you ever found out you’d hate me and I’d never redeem myself in your eyes.”

Amara blinked tears. Her bottom lip quivered. “No.” She shook her head. “You’re lying. You’ll say anything right now to convince me.”

I released the hold I had on her wrist and stepped back from her. The gulf between us was immeasurable. It was like someone had taken a hatchet to my soul.

“I would do it again. And again,” I whispered. “I had to move to France to keep you safe. I had to kill your father to keep you safe. I had to take you prisoner to save your life. I regret nothing I chose to do so that you are here right now in this room with me. The alternative was not something I ever considered. Never.”

She swallowed hard.

“I told you I was a dangerous man the night we met.” She hadn’t retreated. My hand reached for her cheek. “But I am not a danger to you. For you I would walk through fire. I would kill a thousand men. I would break down every door in this city and raid every crypt to find you. To bring you home to me. To have you sleep in my bed every night. I will lie. I will cheat. I will make any deal I have to make. I will use the full force of my Bratva army for you and you alone, Amara. To protect you. And that’s what I did. I chose you. And I’ll choose you every single fucking day so you that you can live. Even if you hate me. Despise me. Never want me to touch you or fuck you ever again.”

A tear slipped from the corner of her eye and splashed over my thumb. She crumpled against my chest. My arms didn’t move. I stood there while she sobbed against my white shirt. She hit me. She screamed. Her hands snaked up my neck, drawing my lips to hers. She bit me until she drew blood.

“Fight back,” she pleaded, realizing there was now a cut on my lower lip.

I shook my head. “No. This is for you. I owe you my blood. My soul. All of it.”

Her nails dug into my chest. “I was your prisoner,” she whimpered. She tore at my shirt, ripping the buttons away. “You made me your fucking prisoner!”

“Yes.” The temptation to hold her. To touch her. To claim her with more kisses was primal and strong. “You were never in danger,” I whispered. “I kept you safe. I kept you alive. I swear I would never hurt you.”

She cried, giant sobs against my bare skin. The tears were angry and hot.

I closed my eyes when I felt her lips rake against my skin. Her tongue made a small line followed by another kiss against the planes of my chest. “Amara,” I whispered. She had to know how goddamn good that felt. My cock ached for her.

“I love you,” she gasped. “How do I stop?” There was pain in her voice. “How do I not let heartbreak be the thing that kills me? How do I ever survive losing you again?”

Not touching her was torturing me.

“You don’t.” I growled. My arms encircled her, lifting her against my waist. My mouth was hungry against hers. “You never stop loving me. I’ve never stopped loving you. I won’t. You are part of my soul.”

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