Page 21 of Charmed and Alarmed

His throat works. “Can I come in?”

Wordlessly, I step aside, allowing him into the apartment. Honor’s wedding dress is still hanging on the hook in the living room, and his eyes linger on the white garment bag as I close the door behind him. “Can I get you something to drink? We have water. Or water. Also, water.”

The muscles beneath my belly button flutter as he stops in the kitchen, looking back at me. “I’m fine. You’re not going out?” He eyes my tank top and sleep shorts.

“Nah. I was just curious if you’d try to stop me.” Silence stretches between us as Holden stares at me, his jaw tight. Emboldened, I step closer. “Is that why you came? Because you don’t want anyone else popping my cherry?”

A low curse greets my words, and he glances at the empty living room, as if expecting Sophie or Honor to wander out of their rooms and question why he’s here. “I don’t know why I came, to be honest.”

I feel my face split in a huge smile, and I laugh. “Yes. You do.” Every inch of my skin seems to be tingling with heat, hyperaware of the man standing only a few feet away from me. Even after the measures I took to get him here, now that he is, I’m a lot more nervous than I’ll allow myself to reveal.

More silence, and I feel my nipples tighten as Holden’s gaze rakes, once more, over my body. “Ireallyshouldn’t.”

My smile widens. “Since when are you so responsible, Mr. Ellinger? You didn’t have a problem with it on New Year’s. I promise not to get attached, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“That isn’t what I’m worried about.” Holden’s voice is like gravel, and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him look so serious as he steps toward me. My sharp intake of breath sounds in the quiet apartment as the tall man before me lifts his hand to guide my chin up, forcing me to meet his eyes. “What do you want, princess?”

The return of that ridiculous nickname makes me smile again. “I thought you were the experienced one here. Do I need to explain the mechanics of sex?”

“Don’t be smart with me.” His fingers tighten on my chin as his bright eyes bore down into mine, searching for signs of reservation. “Is this a one-time thing? An arrangement? I’m not fucking you unless we’re clear on that.”

My heart is hammering against my ribcage as I reach out, settling my hands on his warm, hard shoulders, and it leaps into my throat when Holden lets out a low hiss, his pupils dilating at my touch. “It’s hard to say,” I reply, keeping my tone musing and light, determined not to let him see how his words and the feeling of a few fingers on my face have reduced me to goo. If he wants to have an effect on me, he’s going to have to do better than this. “I don’t know if I’ll like it or not.”

The vibration of Holden’s low, answering laugh passes through my hands, and I can’t stop myself from sucking in a little gasp as he steps toward me, crowding me into the wall. He’s so much bigger than me, and it’s never been more apparent until this moment, as Holden lowers his lips to my neck, his warm breath ghosting over my skin as he murmurs in my ear. “You’ll like it, princess. Now tell me what you want so I can prove it.”

Okay. I might be in over my head here. Not a lot of women lose their virginity to a literal sex god, and all indications point to Holden being just that.

My breasts seem to grow tight as I blow out a long breath. “I want you to teach me.”

Holden stills, and against my stomach, I feel the unmistakable, long, hard line of his erection. He makes no effort to hide it as he asks, “Teach you?”

Letting out a shaky little laugh that does nothing to disguise my nerves, I nod, my eyelids fluttering. “Unless that’s not something you’re interested in. Though, the fact you’re here at all suggests you’re… open to it.”

Lifting his head, I find myself gazing into his brilliant eyes again, this time so much closer than before. His lips are inches from mine, and it feels as though every muscle on my body has mutually decided to give it up and succumb to the effect he has on me, melting. “I have one condition.” I hear myself gasp as he leans forward, brushing the ghost of a kiss over my mouth. “Stop hiding, Leni. If you want my cock, you’ll show me everything. I want to see when it feels good and when it hurts. I want to see when you’re nervous and when you’re excited. No pretending. When we’re together like this, I want one hundred percent honesty from you, and you’ll get it from me. Are we clear?”

His words aren’t what I expected. I thought he would say not to tell anyone, or that it’s over after today, or warn me he’s never going to fall in love with his business partner’s twenty-two-year-old daughter. Never in a million years did I expect his one condition to feel like a knife directly in my chest. What he’s asking from me is so much scarier than taking off my clothes and spreading my legs. It’s a level of vulnerability I’ve never given anyone. Ever. Yet, even with the fear it brings, I find myself nodding.

“Okay.”

No one has ever kissed me the way Holden does now.

With a groan of relief, he covers my mouth with his, devouring my gasp of surprise. In seconds, I’ve recovered from the shock, coming back to life to meet his intensity with my own. Dimly, in the back of my mind, I imagine what we look like right now: me, smaller, younger, more inexperienced, backed against the wall in my sister’s apartment, held there by this man who has no business touching me but can’t help himself. It’s intoxicating, knowing my effect on him is as strong as his on me and that we’re caught in this together.

He grunts, pulling back for long enough to rasp a single word. “Bedroom?”

“Bedroom,” I confirm with a nervous laugh, aware of how drenched my panties have become in the time since he entered the apartment. Holden draws back, his hair rumpled and his eyes wild, and I take his hand, pulling him toward Sophie’s bedroom, which I’ve been using as my own. He closes the door behind him, and suddenly, it’s just the two of us in this quiet, small room, a bed just behind me, and nothing to stop us from giving in to what we both want.

This is happening.

I can barely breathe as Holden moves closer to me, his hands settling on my waist. They’re so big, they nearly encircle me, and even with an entire career of endeavoring to be perfect, I’m not sure I’ve ever feltthisperfect. “Can I take this off?”

Something deep inside me warms at the way he’s checking I want this, even after how far we’ve already come. I nod, and my pulse is thundering in my ears as Holden hooks his thumbs beneath the waistband of my shorts, pushing the garment down. They fall around my ankles, and he groans when he sees that beneath, I’m wearing nothing apart from a white thong, the same kind he saw a few days ago when he bent me over his lap and spanked me for teasing him. My arousal has molded the material to my body, and I hear myself whimper as he draws two fingers along the waistband.

Despite the frantic making out a minute ago, Holden doesn’t seem in any rush as he turns his attention to my breasts, tugging the neckline of my tank top down to free them, and I’m struck by the first true insecurity since this began.

“What are you feeling right now?” rumbles Holden, brushing his thumbs over my already hard nipples, sending electricity directly to my clit.

I open my mouth, intending to lie, but a sharp look from the man before me has me closing it just as quickly. He wanted me to be honest when we’re like this, and yet the words seem to be caught in my throat. “I.Um.” I swallow, my cheeks burning. “I’m worried you won’t like them.”

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