Page 6 of Age of Shade

Friendship requires you to open up, to offer up a little bit of yourself, but I couldn’t quite do it, and Ruby didn’t push.

We aren’t friends, exactly. We study together sometimes, and work together for group projects. Once or twice we’ve eaten lunch together, but that’s it. Ruby doesn’t have a problem with talking about her trauma or owning up to her less than ideal life choices. I certainly don’t think any less of her knowing any of it, but I can’t seem to extend that same compassion to myself. After three years, she knows not to ask too many questions.

We’re allies, united as outsiders, and it’s better that way.

I do my best not to think about where I came from, but when I have no choice, it’s easy to tell myself that everything happenedthen. This isnow. I can’t change any of it, so what’s the point in dwelling on it?

Am I in denial? Absolutely, but it’s working just fine for now, and there are barely enough hours in the day to sleep. When would I have time to address whatever emotional trauma was inflicted on me in my first few decades of life? I have enough on my plate.

For one thing, there’s a test in my ethics seminar that I’ve barely studied for. Thankfully, Ruby is in the class and doesn’t object to spending the morning in the library together.

She’s already there when I arrive, her long, blonde hair pulled up in a messy bun, blue-light glasses resting on the bridge of her nose as she glares down at her computer screen. As I set my things on the table and smile at her, a few of the frat guys at the table to our right shoot her appreciative, hopeful glances that go utterly ignored. I can’t blame them; she’s ridiculously gorgeous.

Unfortunately for her admirers, however, Ruby Johnson would suck their souls out of their noses with a curly straw if they worked up the courage to talk to her. Wildly beautiful andintelligent, she might be. Tolerant of unsolicited interest, she is not.

“Hey—Oh! Thank you!” I shoot her an appreciative smile when she pushes a cup of coffee across the table toward me. My thanks gets about as much attention as the frat guys did. Ruby hums, not breaking the stare-off with her computer.

“This is such bullcrap,” she mutters furiously, eyebrows pinching. “Have you ever had Professor Meadows? This stupid ho-bag gave mea fucking Con my paper just because I pointed out that her grading criteria is outdated as fuck.”

Having known Ruby for as long as I have, I’m fairly confident that this constructive criticism for her professor wasn’t given in anything resembling a respectful manner. “That sucks,” I offer diplomatically, pulling out my battered laptop and charger. “I haven’t had her.”

Ruby huffs, snapping her computer shut and turning her attention to me. “Listen, I need a favor.” She leans toward me over the table and, as suddenly as if she’s flipped a switch, her voice becomes sweet, her eyes wide and imploring.

I’m instantly on alert. Those three years of experience with Ruby Johnson have also taught me that whatever it is she wants will likely be something unpleasant for me. She doesn’t ask for favors very often, but when she does…

Without waiting to hear the pitch, I turn my attention to powering on my computer. “No.”

“Seriously? You don’t even want to hear it? Spoiler alert, itpays well.” She sings the last two words, and Ihatethat they are all it takes for her to have my complete, undivided attention.

Still, I give myself a few more seconds of staring blankly at my start-up screen—because I do have some pride—before abandoning all pretense. “Fine. Let me hear it.”

To her credit, Ruby doesn’t point out how easily I surrender my morals when a few dollars are waved in my face. She knowswhat it’s like, just like how I know that I can afford to have dignity once I graduate and get a good job. Until then, if I can make it through the week without overdrawing my bank account or eating something more nutritious than instant noodles, I’ll call it a win.

“So you know that guy I’ve been seeing? Liam?”

‘Seeing’seems like a bit of a stretch when she’d dump him like a hot potato if he stopped buying her designer handbags. I pause, not liking where this is going. “Uh, yeah. Sure.”

No matter how broke I’ve gotten, I could never stomach jumping on the sugar-baby bandwagon that Ruby swears by. I don’t judge her; she’s doing what she has to do, and doing it well. If I’m honest with myself, IwishI could do the same. Sitting across from a rich guy and pretending to be interested in what he’s saying sounds a hell of a lot better than handing out donuts and coffee for minimum wage night after night, then dragging my aching feet across town to Doctor Roth’s practice to clean until I pass out on his office couch.

For most of my life, I was completely at the mercy of the people around me, and it didn’t exactly go well. I can’t stand the idea of being dependent on anyone or giving them that kind of power over me. Even trading cleaning for a place to sleep eats at me. My life may be shitty and hard, but it’smine. The thought of relying on a man who only wants me for my face or body... I just can’t.

Ruby glances around to make sure there’s no one within hearing distance, then leans in and whispers conspiratorially, “So, we were supposed to see each other tonight, but I guess he’s entertaining an old friend for the weekend. He asked if I knew someone who could come with me. A double date. We’d be having drinks at the lounge in his hotel, then going to that fancy new steakhouse downtown where they put shaved gold on the porterhouse. It would bejustdinner and drinks, Adina. I swear.”

My lungs empty, and I stare blankly at the cracked screen of my laptop, reeling. “Even if I wanted to, I don’t have anything to wear to a restaurant that serves golden meat, Ruby.” Everything I own can fit in the bin Doctor Roth keeps for me in his office closet. I have a few office-appropriate outfits for my internship, but I wouldn’t be able to get them until after the practice closes for the day.

Reaching into her backpack, Ruby whips out a black credit card and brandishes it in my face. “Liam told me to go shopping and take you along! Girl, he is so fucking rich, I don’t think he even checks the statement before paying it. Want a car?”

“I’ll pass.” I swat her hand away, my chest growing tight.Am I really considering this?In my experience, if something seems too good to be true, it almost certainly is. “So he wants to pay me just to be a date for his friend?” I clarify, hating how chicken-shit I sound right now.

“That’s it,” Ruby insists as she tucks Liam’s credit card away. “I guess the guy just went through a bad breakup or something and he feels bad for him.”

I’m tempted.

Reallytempted.

This wouldn’t be myjob, after all. It would just be a one-time thing, and with my internship starting next week, I know I’ll have to take less hours at the coffee shop. Also,I’m tired. The kind of tiredness that comes from working your ass off for years without a single break. Would it be so wrong to take a shortcut? Just this once?

I swallow. “How much would it pay?”

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