Page 41 of Age of Shade

“Not often, thankfully.” Asher chuckles, unphased. “It’s not bad. Her mother was mortified, though. The incident was more traumatic for her than it was for me.”

I shudder, squeezing his hand. “I’m very glad I chose social work right about now.”

He doesn’t respond to that, and when I peek up at him, I can see the unspoken question in his face.

“I’ll tell you the whole story someday,” I assure him gently, even though my heart pangs because I’m ready to tell himnow. There’s no way to tell him the whole truth though, not without revealing thatheis a big part of why I chose this path. I know I need to tell him… It’s officially been too long and I’m so tired of this massive, horrible secret hanging over me. Sometimes it’s all I can think about, and twice in the past week I’ve woken up from dreams of Asher telling me he never wants to see me again, gasping for air and damp with sweat.

Undoubtedly able to sense my plummeting mood, Asher tucks me under his arm and presses a kiss to the crown of my hair. “I love you.”

Just like that, I melt.

“I love you too,” I murmur, my heart lifting as I look up at him. “Will you tell me where you’re taking me? Or will that interfere with the high level of romancing that you’re aiming for?”

His lips quirk in a wry smile. “No interference. Come on, let’s get a car and I’ll tell you on the way.” He steps to the curb and raises his hand, hailing a cab. When the man pulls over, he opens the door for me. It’s old fashioned, but something about the gesture makes me stop in my tracks, staring at him. There are probably big cartoon hearts pulsing in my eyes right now, because—even after the onslaught of romantic gestures this man has already thrown down in his pursuit to win me over—I swear I’ve never felt so much for anyone or anything than I do right now.

“Adina?”

I blink, shaking myself from my love-struck daze, and hurry to fold myself into the back seat of the car. Asher follows, rattling off an address I don’t recognize to the driver, who grunts his acknowledgement before pulling out into traffic.

“Want to tell me what that was back there?” He murmurs in my ear, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and kissing my temple.

Sighing, I lean into the warmth of his chest, my eyes on the darkening city beyond the windshield of the car. “I’m just happy.”

I wish I could bottle this feeling and store it away for when I need it most.

Asher hums. “That was the goal. If I’d known you’d be happy with a cab ride, I would have done this sooner.”

He’s joking, but I really would be happy just going for a drive with him. Or cuddling on the couch in his apartment watching movies. Or holding his hand to walk to the store. I swallow the lump in my throat and peer up at him. “You know, you don’thave to do all this for me. I’m not—I mean, I really am happy just being with you.”

He stares back at me for a long moment, and there’s something raw and new in his expression that I’ve never seen there before. “You deserve to be treated like this, Adina. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and the day I take that for granted is the day you leave my ass. Do you understand?” My bottom lip trembles, and he smooths his thumb over it, his expression soft. “You’ve been so strong for so long, angel. I know there are things you haven’t told me, that you mightnevertell me, but you’re not on your own anymore.”

I don’t respond. I can’t.

All I can do is wrap myself around him and rest my head on his shoulder as the city flashes by outside the cab.

No more putting it off. We’ll have tonight, and then tomorrow… Tomorrow, after work, I’ll tell him everything.

Tomorrow.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

ASHER

In the seven months since I came home to find my girlfriend gone, my apartment all but emptied out, and everything I thought I wanted in ruins, I’ve become a different person.

Far from the man who was gripped by cold, gnawing panic at the thought of committing to one woman for the rest of his life, I’ve found myself browsing engagement rings online during lunch breaks and wondering if I could make room in my scant budget to surprise Adina with a honeymoon.Goddamn, I’d love to see her ass in a bikini.

It’s too soon—fartoo soon—but I can’t help the gnawing suspicion that Adina would thrive in the stability and permanence of marriage. We’ve come such a long way in such a short amount of time, but that fear in her eyes is still present, particularly when we’re at our happiest. It’s like she thinks it’s all going to be ripped away, and while it’s gut wrenching, how could I blame her?

Last night, I took her to a modern art installation. We spent hours wandering amidst massive technicolor sculptures and through structures made entirely of light. In truth, I could only describe about half of what we saw. I was too busy enjoying Adina’s reactions, obsessed with the way she would automatically look to me whenever there was somethingparticularly exciting or beautiful. Afterward, we stopped at the same Mexican restaurant we discovered on that first night, talking about our days.

It was incredible.

Not quite as incredible as later, though, when we got home and she rode my cock on the living room floor.

Sex with Adina is better than anything I’ve ever experienced. After weeks of buildup, of eating her pussy and fisting my own cock to relieve some of the tension, our first night together was fucking transcendent. Not just the physical intimacy, but also the knowledge that I understand this woman better than anyone else on Earth. I know she’smine, and while we still have a long way to go, I’m equally sure we’ll figure it out.

It’s startling to look back at the years I spent in my former relationship through this new lens, one that sheds a stark, unflattering light on how unhappy we were. There was no laughter or joy in our home, sex was routine and perfunctory, and, often, even the smallest decisions turned to fights.

---