Page 44 of The Double Play

I log off while they are all patting themselves on the back for giving solid advice. My headset and controller clatter on the cushion next to me. Now I guess I need to find a babysitter.

Chapter twenty-one

Hazel James

I’mreallygratefulthiswaiting room is empty right now. If it weren't, I’d feel self-conscious about the number of times I’ve paced to the door, stopped, and turned back around. I haven’t counted, but I’m sure it’s concerning.

The doctor told me this morning that my mom is doing well. She woke up during the night and was able to understand where she was and why she was there. He said she’d be in and out of sleep a lot as her body recovers, but that she could have visitors. Ever since hearing that, I’ve tried to make myself go and see her, but so far every attempt has failed.

For a while, I was glued to my chair, my thoughts moving at speeds that would rival Emmett’s fastball. Then came the pacing. I’m surprised there isn’t a streak on the tile floor from where my white canvas sneakers have dragged across it over and over. Thankfully, Raven isn’t here to witness my breakdown, either. She’s sleeping off the difficult day at my apartment. I wish I was with her.

I stare at the gray door. My thoughts start to spiral again. My mind is one big Wheel of Misfortune, and I’m not sure where it’s going to land.

I should go see her.

Will she even care that I’m here?

She has no one.

I have no one.

She might be hurt if no one shows up.

She hurt Raven.

She hurtme.

I groan and bury my head in my hands. If I could justmake a decision, everything would get better. I would have to live with whatever choice I made. But it feels impossible to choose. I wish there was a third option. One where my moral compass didn’t feel so stuck.

My phone buzzes in the seat next to me. I pick it up from beside the half-eaten package of pretzels that were my dinner last night and breakfast this morning. I haven’t been able to stomach much since yesterday. I’m expecting a message from Mikayla when I flip the screen over. She wishes she could be here supporting me, but her whole family got the flu last week and are still recovering.

I blink in surprise when I see a text from Emmett.

Emmett: What floor of the hospital are you on?

My brow furrows. Did staring at these beige walls for so long melt my brain? Why is Emmett asking me that? Wondering if I’m going to wake up from this dream soon, I text him back.

Hazel: Sixth floor, why?

No response. Odd. After the past week, I don’t know what to expect from him. I know that I didn’t expect him to message me at all, and now he has twice. Once, to ask if I made it to the hospital, and now this puzzle.

I shake off my curiosity and shift my focus back to the task at hand: forcing myself to make a decision. I stand up again, hoping beyond hope that I’ll get to the door and decide either to walk out and leave the hospital or go to room 637. As I stand, the door opens, startling me.

There in the doorway is Emmett. I squeeze my eyes shut, then open them again. He’s still there, muscular arms full of items. He sets the array down on a chair by the door. I keep my eyes on him, not caring what he brought with him becausehe’s here.

He turns to face me fully, and his arms open for a hug. I cross the room and barrel into him. My arms wrap around his waist, tight. He splays one of his hands against my back, while the other comes around to cradle my head. The tears return and I couldn’t stop them if I tried. I break down again in earnest, sobbing against his chest. He rubs gentle circles on my back and doesn’t say a word. He doesn’t have to. This is exactly what I needed.

I squeeze him tighter, and there’s safety in knowing it’s not too much for him. The muscles in his back are taut. His arms around me don’t falter. He’s a fortress. A safe place to hide. The decisions, the pain, the burden of this whole situation, he’s shielding me from it all. I’ve never felt so secure.

“Thank you,” I murmur into his black henley once my crying subsides.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.” His hand travels up and down my spine. I close my eyes, savoring the comfort his touch brings. The beat of his heart grounds me. I never want to leave his arms.

I freeze as realization pours over me like a cold shower. Emmett ishuggingme. Holding me. Willingly. How did we go from insurmountable distance tozero?

I tilt my head back to look up at him. His deep brown eyes meet mine. Concern furrows his brow. He slides his hand from behind my neck to below my jaw. I shiver.

“Are you okay? Are things worse than you let on?” he asks.

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