Page 38 of The Double Play

I give her a watery smile and whisper, “The happiest.”

I hug her once more, committing this moment to memory. Deep down, I know that this situation isn’t forever. I won’t always be June’s nanny. Emmett’s parents could come back at any moment to take my place. Or something could happen that takes me away. It makes me cherish every day with June all the more.

June sits back in her seat. I dry the remainder of my tears with my shirtsleeve. She gets her headphones on and resumes her movie. I watch her for a moment, willing myself not to cry again as an ache rises up swift and fierce. What I would give to have a daughter like her. To have a healthy family to come home to each day, one that doesn’t fight and scream all the time like mine did growing up.

A place torest. That’s what I want. A soft place to land after dealing with my parents. The quiet of my apartment isn’t the sanctuary I once thought it would be. I want a home filled with life, laughter, and joy. With pizza nights and backyard gymnastics and tickle fights. I wrap my arms around myself, my gaze raising to Emmett’s face.

His lips barely part before closing again. He says nothing. I watch with a sore, bruised heart as he slides his headphones back on and closes his eyes once again.

I don’t know why his silence hurts so much.

Or maybe you don’t want toacknowledgewhy.

I bat the thought away. It doesn’t matter. We aren’t anything more than strictly boss and employee. We never will be. No matter how many times Emerson teases me about being theBeautyto Emmett’sBeast, it’s not meant to be. I’ll have to find my happily ever after somewhere else.

Chapter nineteen

Hazel James

ThingsI’vegottengoodat lately:

Fake smiling

Pushing down hurt

Deluding myself into thinking I’m unaffected

Okay, that last one is a little iffy, but I’m sure I’ll get better at it in time. Emmett hasn’t returned to the way things were before the game where I apparently made a huge mistake. He hasn’t been rude or treated me poorly in any capacity. He’s just been…distant. It’s as if he’s standing on one side of this giant castle of a home, and I’m on the other. Every conversation we have is surface-level and focused entirely on June.

It’s been three days since we got back, and I’m beginning to come to terms with this being my new life. At least there’s June to bring me joy. I smile at the little girl with her curly pigtails and twin pink bows. She’s jumping on her trampoline while I sit in a patch of sun in a wooden lawn chair. I’d hoped coming outside would give me energy and use up some of hers, but I’m not so sure anymore.

It won’t be long before Emmett is back home though, and I’ll be able to go to my apartment and attempt to drown out the thoughts in my mind by playing video games and eating too many chocolate chip cookies.

“Miss Hazel, watch this!” June yells before flipping forward. She lands on her back instead of her feet, but it makes her giggle all the same.

“Great job, sweet pea!”

She grins as she pushes back to her feet and starts bouncing again. My phone buzzes in the pocket of my overalls. I pull it out and frown when I see my sister’s name on the screen.

“Hello?”

“H-hazel,” my sister sobs into the phone.

I sit up. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s M-mom,” she cries. My heart drops to my stomach. “I found her in her room. There were bottles everywhere. She wouldn’t wake up. I kept shaking her, but–” she cuts off. Her short, quick breaths stab at my heart.

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