Page 52 of The Kat Bunglar

“Okay, Ammu, I think I hear the tea kettle boiling. I’ll call you back, ya? Okay, bye.” Kat hung up the phone abruptly, unable to continue the conversation.

As Kat stretched and tried to figure out what to do with her morning, her phone pinged with a text from her mother. She took a deep breath before proceeding to read it: “Sometimes we make mistakes. But we can fix our mistakes. If it’s very bad, just come home. Also, make sure you eat something; you’re too skinny. No food empties out the brain.”

That brought a small smile to Kat’s face. She knew her mother was trying. She supposed she could try a little, too. Texting back a heart emoji, she decided to go for a run and make her usual morning smoothie.

But her body refused to move toward her workout clothes. Instead, her stomach growled loudly. Her mother’s text echoed in her mind, and, if she was being honest, potato pancakes with a side of eggs, chicken sausage, and a large latte sounded perfect.

She cautiously made her way to the kitchenette, peering toward the bedroom to make sure the lovebirds hadn’t emerged yet. She then rummaged through the mini fridge, happy to see that Joseph was keeping it stocked. There was also a 20-pound bag of potatoes from two months ago that miraculously hadn’t gotten moldy.

She was so busy with her kitchen prep, humming to herself, dicing her onions, green peppers, and mushrooms, and ensuring the skillet sizzled just so, that she failed to notice Joseph and Christian cautiously poking their heads out of the bedroom.

“What is she doing?” Joseph asked furtively to Christian.

“I think it’s called cooking,” Christian whispered back in awe.

Kat looked up with a big smile, scaring both of them slightly. “Good morning, guys! I thought I would make us all something to eat—potato pancakes, all right?”

Christian tilted her head to the side. “Um... Kat, when was the last time you ate complex carbs drenched in vegetable oil?”

“I don’t remember. Probably three years ago. But sometimes our bodies need what they need, and sometimes our minds need a cleanse from social media. And sometimes we think we’ve stolen about $80,000 worth of goods only to turn around and find it all gone missing.” A manic laugh escaped Kat’s throat, causing Joseph and Christian to stiffen slightly. “But it’s fine! We’re a team,” and if Kat’s voice went up several octaves trying to finish that sentence, no one had the intestinal fortitude to correct her.

As Kat started fixing their plates and placing them on the breakfast bar for them to grab, she casually asked, “So what’s the plan now?” Kat reached for her phone, casually setting it faced down on the counter.

Joseph dug into the potatoes and eggs appreciatively. “Well, I was thinking we divide everything up into thirds and hit up the pawn shops in Gardena, Lawndale, and Inglewood. We pool together our funds afterward. And then I’m meeting up with Smoke in Long Beach this weekend to pay him back. Settle all debts.”

Kat choked on her latte, not sure what to digest first. “Okay, cool. So glad you’ve taken over the entire operation, Joseph, because we really needed the mansplaining.” The sarcasm wasn’t lost on Christian, who rolled her eyes. “But um, to be clear—you’re going to meet ‘Smoke,’ who happens to be a part of the Haitian militia in broad daylight, and you think you’re going to make it out alive?”

Joseph looked irritated. “Why wouldn’t I? He’ll get his money. We’ll get our church back. Everyone’s happy.”

“And that’s the absolute truth?” Kat egged Joseph on. “Because between the website scam, the so-called charity, the back taxes, and now the Haitian militia strolling into our backyard, forgive me for being a little skeptical at how the story keeps shifting.”

“Kat!” Christian warned in a low tone.

“Christian, your boy toy shows up unannounced and then somehow gets 30% of everything we scored. Doesn’t that seem a little presumptuous?”

She could see Christian begin to falter slightly. “So, what do you suggest we do?”

Kat smiled. “We should just do everything together. Make sure we collect the money together, meet Smoke together. The Three Amigos. Where one goes, the other two shall follow.”

Joseph protested, “That’s ridiculous! It will take us longer this way—”

“I agree with Kat,” Christian interrupted, surprising both of them into silence. “I think we should finish what we started.”

Kat hid her smile, covertly slipped the phone into the sleeve of her pajamas, and pressed the ‘stop record’ button on her phone.

July 19

Chicago

Laila Malik

Laila walked back into the lobby in the wee hours of the morning, her eyes glued to her phone as she scrolled through the barrage of missed calls and texts from Gabriel. She had been too distraught to answer. What if he was married? Why had he lied? And who was this woman that had sent all those documents?

In order to avoid him and their inevitable conversation, she had slept on the sofa of her office. If she could, she would have taken a flight directly to LA and avoided him altogether. But unfortunately, she had left her suitcase in his apartment.

As she waited for the elevator to make its way down, she heard someone else stumble in through the revolving doors.

“Laila Malik. Oh wait, it’s gonna be Laila Zaldi soon, isn’t it?” her drunk soon-to-be ex-husband came stumbling toward her.

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