Page 93 of Give Me a Shot

“I had…a frustrating conversation with my mom after I left the smithy today. I didn’t realize that I’d still been holding some stress. You made it all disappear with your acrobaticachievement just now. Becoming your girlfriend is the cherry on top,” she said.

The happy warmth he’d been floating in plummeted. Worry tightened his throat. He must have seen her text and replied not long after that frustrating call. Then she’d suggested coming over. They’d ended up naked in bed about half an hour later.

She is initiating after upsetting feelings. She’s running to me to escape.

“Are you okay?” she asked, snapping him out of his growing worry.

He wasn’t sure what to say. It was a sensitive conversation to have. And maybe one better dealt with when they were both clothed and less likely to feel vulnerable. But waiting seemed like a bad idea.

“Um,” he croaked. He cleared his throat. “You remember the first time we slept together?”

She grinned and snuggled close, tucking her head into his chest. He wrapped an arm around her, and she slid hers over his waist. He hoped she couldn’t hear his heart.

“Of course,” she said. “It was wonderful.”

He attempted a smile, but it was tight. He was glad she couldn’t see it.

“It was,” he said. “I was a little worried, though. Remember? It was after a difficult call with your mom. When I went home, I talked to Khalil because I’d been worried that I took advantage of you when you were in an emotional state.”

“Yeah,” she said, voice a touch wary. “But I told you that you hadn’t. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I remember you said that. And I know that’s how you felt. I just…I wanted to be careful.”

“Of course you did,” she said. He could hear the smile in her voice, which was a good sign.

“Khalil suggested that I pay attention to the next time. To see if, when you came to me, if you…” He swallowed to push down the nerves pricking in his throat. “If you seemed to be turning to sex to get away from difficult feelings.”

She was very, very still. He couldn’t even tell if she wasbreathing. While being in that position had made it easier to voice his concerns, it kept him from reading her face to gauge her reaction. Which dramatically increased his worry.

“Do you feel like I’ve been using you?” she asked softly.

He rapidly scanned his own emotions. He’d been so concerned about hers that he hadn’t checked in with himself about it. Feeling used in a sexual way hadn’t crossed his radar before. Perhaps because he’d never been one for sexual encounters outside of more solid relationships. He gave himself a quick scan again, and the only thing he could come up with was that because she had shown that shesawhim as an HSP, that she’d respected his needs and had accommodated his quirks, he didn’t feel at all like she was using him. He was more concerned that she wasn’t respecting her own needs by running away from them. He squeezed her in a quick hug and told her what he was thinking.

“Hmm…” she said, snuggling even closer to squeeze him back. “I don’t think I’ve been running away from anything. I’m just really happy to be with you. And…” She sighed. “It’s been a long period ofunhappy.”

Mo could get that. In the marrow of his bones.

“It has,” he said. He could have pressed, tried to move the conversation a little bit deeper, encourage her to really think about the possibility. But he knew that sometimes, for heavy subjects, the best approach was to look at in small parts, a little bit at a time, and let them digest. They could return to it later. He kissed the top of her head.

“The call today, what was it about?” he asked.

Jess sighed.

“She wants me to go visit. So we can alltalk.I don’t think she’ll stop pestering me until I do go.”

“Do you think you will?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she whispered. “Alice and Steph have been nudging me anyway. We messaged about it a little this morning when I let them know that I’m okay after getting so upset about my doctor wanting even more tests and them both being so…worried.” She cleared her throat. “I’ll have to go home eventually. But…”

Mo sensed that there was more behind the “worried.” He’d felt she didn’t tell him everything that had been said in their conversation when she’d called him over, but it certainly wasn’t the moment to pry about that, either.

“But?” he asked.

“It’s strange. It didn’t feel like home the last time. Honestly, I haven’t felt like I’m home since I came back. Maybe I was just gone too long.” She sighed again.

“Maybe,” he said.

She shifted a little, draping one of her legs over one of his. Pressing her body against him, she kissed his chest. Then his collarbone. Concerned about the path she might be heading down, he pulled back a little.

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