Page 101 of Give Me a Shot

“I don’t know, Cas,” she said. “I’m not ready for this, for life without you. If I really…I can’t. I can’t start some process of grieving. If I accept that you’re gone, that means I’m accepting a life without you—”

Something thick and wet landed on her cheek, cutting her off. She wiped at it, her fingers coming away with a goopy white-and-brown liquid. Confusion stunned her for a moment, and she looked up into the empty blue sky. She caught two birds flying away.

A memory surged forward. She and Cassie walking back to the car after grocery shopping. Jess had been trying to convince Cassie of something, but Cassie wasn’t having it. A bird had pooped on Jess’s head, stopping her mid-sentence. Cassie had simply smiled.

“See?” she’d said. “I callbird shit.” Then she’d winked at Jess.

“Cas!” Jess asked, back in the present, looking at the headstone. “Did you just get a bird to poop on me? Did you just callbird shit?”

Her heart in her throat, Jess’s eyes teared up again as she smiled with poop on her hand and her cheek.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Mo and Jess

The following evening, Mo parked in his driveway after dropping Maddie off and took the few steps to his porch. Inside, his keys on the hook, he toed off his shoes. His “no-Maddie” ache was there to meet him. Even though it wasn’t as sharp as usual, the change was unpleasant. It felt like something heavier was weighing it down. He tidied the couch cushions and refolded the throw, putting it in its place. He would need to plan dinner soon, but thinking about food put an ashy taste in his mouth, which was very odd. He chalked it up to missing Maddie and went upstairs to take a shower.

That didn’t work. Out on the bathmat, drying himself, he got what was wrong with him. It was past time for Jess to have returned from Rockford. She’d only messaged him the day before to let him know that she’d arrived safely. Beyond that, he hadn’t wanted to disturb her while she was with her parents. Apart from a good night text and a good morning one, he’d given her space. Maddie had had a tough week at school, and he’d spent a good bit of energy trying to help her feel better. Now that she was with Diana, Mo became concerned about the radio silence from Jess.

“Hi there,” she said with a sigh when she picked up the phone.

“Uh, hey, m’lady, are you back home?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Are you all right?”

Jess cleared her throat.

“I’m okay,” she said.

She was not okay; Mo could tell. He didn’t want to press. Though he’d kicked himself the last time he hadn’t.

“Are you sure about that?” he asked.

“Sure?”

“That you’re okay.”

“Oh, sorry.” There was no “Jess energy” in her voice. “I should have called you when I got here. I just…I’ve had a lot on my mind since I got here last night,” she said.

“Last night?” The words shot out of him before he thought about it.

“Yeah. I…” She sighed. “The visit was…emotionally complicated.”

Mo felt slow and muddy. It seemed like her sadness was sticking to her, pulling her down as it hardened. When she’d called upset before, her energy had been more pointed, staccato. This felt more like…grief?

“Do you mind if I come over?” he asked.

He heard her swallow.

“Um, sure,” she said. “If you want.”

“Lemme take care of one or two things, and I’m on my way,” he said.

“Okay,” she said. “See you soon.”

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