Page 128 of Not the Plan

“And that?” She giggled. “How can you possibly be so shy? You are way, way too hot to be shy.”

His face caught fire.

“Dunno,” he said. “It’s always been there. But never this bad. It’s your fault.”

“Mine?”

“I don’t get shy around anyone like I do around you.”

“Aww, baby.” She caressed his cheek.

“All this, you, I never had to deal with feeling like this. Honestly, it was scary.” He’d started to chuckle, but her forehead crinkle stopped him.

“How can that be? You…” Her gaze drifted down his chest, following her fingertips. “You were married.” Her voice was soft enough that he had to focus to understand. “You must have—”

“I didn’t love her, Isadora.” With their arms and legs intertwined, he felt every inch of her stiffen. Her eyebrows got closer together. He’d learned that expression well enough to know she was surprised, not angry.

“Like I told you, being married was important to me. Always has been. And I was infatuated, and she thought I made good arm candy. By the time I knew how I really felt, I’d made a commitment. I wanted to honor that, try to make things work.”

Isadora frowned and sat up, hugging her knees to her chest.

“Marriage, family, it’s important to you. Really important,” she said.

He’d said the wrong thing without knowing it. He moistened his dry lips to speak.

“Yes. It is,” he said. “But…” He sat up, curling a hand over the top of her foot after removing the condom with a tissue from the nightstand. “Isa? Talk to me, please? What’s wrong?”

“I’m afraid you’ll hate me. It’s the other thing I’ve been afraid of this whole time, why this might be a bad idea, why I fought so hard against falling for you even when it was pointless.”

“I can’t hate you, Isa. Just tell me what it is. Blunt, honest.”

“I’m not ready. At least not for kids. I have to go to D.C. If I get an opportunity, I have to go. It’s what I’ve always—”

His chuckle cut her off before he could hold it back.

“What’s so funny?” she asked.

He took her in his arms and kissed her head.

“Oh, Little Kite.” He sighed. “Always so many steps ahead, always so worried. I would never forgive myself if I got in the way of your dreams. The day that opportunity comes I will put your butt on the plane—if I’m not in the seat next to yours. I’m on Team Isadora, remember?”

Her eyes glistened, and he caught the warm tint to her cheeks. “You are. You sure proved it today. But you’d come with me?”

“If you’ll have me,” he said.

“Really? You’d boomerang across the country? Start all over again?”

“It wouldn’t be starting over, Isa. It would be starting our next chapter.”

His heart broke as her eyes filled with tears and she snuggled into his chest, a light sob crashing against his throat.

“How do you do that?” she asked.

“Do what?” he whispered, caressing her back.

“Make it go away? My fear, my anxiety? When we’re together, all that…it just fades so far into the background, it hardly registers anymore. Ever since that very first flight. You make everything okay.”

He squeezed her tight, taking a deep breath, willing his own tears down.

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