“Really? Never?”
He shakes his head again. “I could never live there.”
“What if your family’s business wasn’t a factor. Would you then?”
“Nope.”
This time it’s me who stops walking. “Why?”
He uses his free hand to rub his fingers over the slight stubble on his chin. “Why would I?”
My breath catches for a moment and I’m not even sure what it is I want to hear. “For me? Or to get an education, or a good job?”
He scoffs and drops my hand. “If I wanted to, I could get an education here and it would be free.”
“Yeah, but the schools in the States are—” I begin, not sure why I’m even defending a system I don’t agree with in the first place.
“Are what? And do not say better. Your generation of Americans are broke from their loan debt and they can’t get jobs with their degrees or buy homes, and sorry, but I’ve looked at the rankings of the education systems and the States is pretty low. So, no thanks, I don’t want crippling debt in a country that’s becoming unlivable and nearly impossible for immigrants to get into. The American dream is not real anymore.”
“My mom’s an example of the American dream,” I snap, defensive enough to use my mom as an example.
Anger flashes in his eyes but he doesn’t raise his voice. “Yeah, she’s a great example.”
“I agree with most of what you’re saying, but don’t you ever want to do more?”
“What do you meanmore?” he asks.
“I don’t know, live for yourself and go to school. You’re so smart, Julián. You could study anywhere and do anything. Find your own passion outside the pressure of a family business.”
“How is that more? My passion is this community and being a part of something that makes me proud, which isn’t hanging a useless bullshit degree on my wall and thinking that’s all life is. I have enough and I’m not a greedy person who always pushes for more, more, more when some people can’t even afford to feed their families.”
“You could get a great job, do more than just barely getting by on this boat. The company is collapsing. If SetCorp doesn’t buy the land now and develop on it, someone else will comealong. The world is changing, Julián, this island included. Look how much it’s changed even since my mom left.”
His tone changes. “Wow.”
I try to match it. “?‘Wow,’ what?”
“Why are Americans always like this? They think everyone should just toss out their morals and beliefs over money. Your only ideas in this lecture you’re trying to give me involve money or school. Neither of those will bring me happiness. I don’t want to always chase more and never be satisfied. Look at your mother—you’re right about her being the perfect example of people who can’t stop when they have enough—and look how miserable her life is.”
“Your dad’s life is also miserable. And I was trying to help, Julián.”
“Well, you’re not. You sound like you think your life is so much better than mine. I don’t need a fancy house or chasing the next hustle. I want a quiet life here on this island with my pare, a family, continuing something my lineage has built. And I’m sorry to say this, Ry, but maybe you should take a moment, look in the mirror, and ask yourself who and what you’re living for. You don’t seem to have any passions outside of pleasing your mother and judging me.”
I try to let his words bounce off me, but it’s impossible. He’s spot-on and it strikes a nerve, a big one. The mention of him having a family, with a woman who obviously won’t be me, sends me over the edge. The rage, jealousy, and despair of imagining him smiling his crooked smile at a baby with a matching smile, while looking lovingly at a woman who he marries… selfishly, I can’t take it.
“So what’s the point of all this?” I ask him. “Why are we just wasting our time? You won’t move to be with me, and I can’t just stay here. So why are we wasting our time?” My temper flares. I don’t have time to waste and it’s fucking insane that he won’t even consider coming to the States with me.
“You’re the one who told me we were a summer fling from the beginning. You’ve reminded me of it every chance you get,” he defends.
“That was before. Before all this!” I wave my hands between us, to the invisible string tying us together. “Now it’s clear you’ve kept that mentality and are just wasting both of our time and not all of us have the privilege. So again, what’s the point of wasting any more time together?”
“If you feel that you’re wasting your time, then stop wasting it. You’re the one who started this pointless argument with me, and the more right I am, the more you lash out at me because Miss Perfect Ry can’t fathom for a moment that someone else could be right.”
“That’s not fair.” I meet his eyes again. “I was just hoping that you would be at least considering coming with me, even for a little bit. You didn’t even think about it, and I have actual reasons preventing me from staying here. Unlike you.” I know it’s wrong as I say it, but my god, I can’t control my temper.
“Unlike you”—he tosses my words back to me—“I don’t need to measure or analyze or tear apart every part of my life because I’m miserable. I’m happy, Ry, I’ve never been happier. Success and happiness in my life aren’t measured by money or power. I have food, my boat. I love someone, they love me, my pare is healthy. My community came together to fight corporate greed.We may have lost this time, but we still tried. That’s success to me. Maybe not to you but to me. And let’s not forget you were going to leave; you had a flight booked the night of the gala!”
“I was going to leave because you pushed me away and abandoned me, again! You probably only stayed around this long because you’d feel bad if I died! And stop talking about greed, it’s hypocritical when at the end of the day your dad will have more money than ever! It’s easy to say money doesn’t matter when you don’t have it!”