Page 80 of The Last Sunrise

“Do you love me? Even after last night?” he asks, his tone more vulnerable than I expected in this playful moment.

I nod. Beats of silence rest between us as his breathing evens. “I’ve never loved you more.”

“Would you love me if I was a fish?” he asks, breaking the tension.

I laugh. “A fish?” I tap my index finger against my chin. “Hmm, what kind of fish?”

“A hideous one.”

“Would you always be a fish, or would you turn into a human at night or something, like a werewolf?”

Julián breaks into laughter. “You do read too many books, my love. For entertainment purposes, I’d be a fish at night only. Each morning when dawn arrives, I become human again. So, would you keep me on your shelf and feed me every night? And not allow my father or the hungry fisherman to chomp me up?”

“As long as you don’t piss me off that day. Then I might get you confused with the other fish and eat you,” I tease him.

“Oh, now you’re suddenly a seafood lover, right?” He gently tries to hit me with a pillow, and I catch it with one hand.

“I played softball for a year. Well, not a whole year, like three games before my mom found out and totally lost her shit because—of course I’m too fragile to play sports.” I stop myself from indulging in too many details, but it feels good to give Julián a little more context of my experiences and life.

“I want to know everything about you,” he tells me, the lit candles in the room shining in the pupils of his dark eyes.

“Well, let’s take it step-by-step and finish what we started. What about a worm? Would you love me if I was a worm?” I ask him.

“A worm… hmmm. Yeah.”

“How about a chicken? Would you want to eat me?” I ask, and both of us are hysterically laughing now.

“Depends if you piss me off that day,” he repeats my words, and I fall back against the wall of the boat in laughter.

“Well, it seems like you’re going to piss me off every day, soooo…”

He pulls me into his chest, sitting on his lap with my thighs on either side of his, his T-shirt hanging loosely on my skin.

“I wanted to tell you that I found a therapy center online last night when you were asleep…” He sucks in a nervous breath. “Weird timing to tell you, but I signed up for a session and submitted a request to the pharmacy for a refill of my meds. So, thank you.”

“You only need to thank yourself.” I kiss the tip of his nose and pet his hair back. “I’m so proud of you.”

“You make me want to be in the light, Ry. No more hiding here in the darkness.” He looks around the room. “I’m going to fight like hell to stay in the light of life with you.”

Conflict fills me, knowing that I’ve also joined the fight for life. I had come here to Mallorca completely hopeless, wanting—at best—to make a few memories and find out more about where my mom and my heritage come from. I’d never felt so free as when I flushed my epilepsy medication down the toilet, knowing it wasn’t going to save me. I was ready to meet death as a friend, but now I’m prepared to fight it like an enemy. For Julián, for my mother who I haven’t gotten the chance to know yet, and most of all for myself.

I hold his face between my hands. “I’m so proud of you, Julián. I know it’s so hard and you should be so proud of yourself.”

“I swear I won’t let you clean up my mess again.” His eyes roam around the extraordinarily clean room. “I’ll do my best to keep it this way.”

“I’ll help you; don’t you worry. Plus”—I shrug—“nowhere except my mom’s house stays this pristine, so it’s okay to let it be a little more lived-in.”

“I’ll never be able to thank you enough. I didn’t know I needed that. The release, to just let go and look around at how I was living. It’s all thanks to you. My life is…” His eyes are glassy, and I hug him tightly, not pressing him to finish, knowing exactly how he feels and what he’s struggling to say. His body shakes gently as he lets the tears come, and I hold on to him until the seagulls start their midmorning screaming and wait for the storm inside him to pass.

The days go back to our version of normal—Julián nervously begins therapy, both of us make sure to take our medicine. An odd bonding experience, but it continues to bring us closer. I even have a nice dinner with my mother, and she doesn’t talk about work once. I don’t tell her about my plan,and I don’t tell either of them that I can feel something in my body shifting, that sometimes when I stand up, the world around me jerks and spasms for a moment. We spend our time between the hotel, the beach with Amara and Prisha—who are still going strong as they wait for Amara’s transfer to go through, because of course she’s going to move to Sweden to live near Prisha after all. I approve of her madness, because we all only have one life, and why not travel the globe in hopes of a lifelong love?

SetCorp begins to put their construction permits up around Julián’s family’s shipyard, even though the ink hasn’t been drawn on the final contract yet. Mateo, stubborn as his son, wants to make things as hard as he can, postponing the final signatures, and rightfully so. My mom doesn’t comment when I flip the SUV full of SetCorp employees off every single time they drive by. Julián and I go out on the boat nearly every day, soaking in the last bits of summer. Things are great; from the outside they seem perfect, and that terrifies me.

Julián spends all of his off time taking me around the island. We take at least a hundred photos a day. I snap photos of our dinner at Fera Palma, where Julián nearly chokes on his dessert when the bill comes. I grab it quickly, and he sinks back in the chair but doesn’t protest. We go inside the Catedral-Basilica de Santa Maria, and though I can’t remember the last time I stepped foot in a church, I find myself silently wishing to whoever is listening, begging for more time, for a lifetime with Julián. We walk around Alcudia Old Town until my feet ache, and Julián carries me on his back, despite my protests. We eat and eat, breads and paella andso much seafood that I can barely keep my eyes open at the end of the day. He’s the ultimate tour guide, especially on the sea, taking me to all of the best views, and the smile never leaves his face or mine. I never want to leave here. I never want to leave his side, and not even beautiful castles or aqua-blue water can distract me enough from wondering when the last time I’ll see him will be. Out of desperation, I have him take me back to the church to beg again for that time to come when my hair is gray.

Chapter Thirty-Four

I startle awake. It’s still dark out, the stars bright and the ocean waves crashing gently against the shore just twentyish feet away. Julián is sound asleep with his arm hooked around my waist and a soft snore falling from his lips. Something isn’t right.

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