Page 79 of The Last Sunrise

“We can take care of each other,” I reply. “We will be okay.” I pet his hair, my fingertips getting stuck on the tangles.

“I can barely take care of myself; how can I promise to take care of you?”

“Let’s take it one step at a time. First step, shower.” I stand up and pull on his hand, leading him to the shower. I don’t say a word as I wash him, his hair, his entire body. Slowly, rinse by rinse, the color comes back to his cheeks, the light flickers in his eyes. I stop him each time he tries to apologize.

“Just like you, I love every part of you. And will be here when things get dark to help you. I try to think of myself as someone who tries to see the light no matter how dark it is around me. Even though I’m a cynic most of the time, I try. Flaws and all, remember?”

“I’m all flaws, Ry. Hell, I can’t see the hint of light most days. Until I met you, I used to have these sorts of things all the time,” he admits.

Amara’s initial warning to me wasn’t Julián just ghosting people and being a flake, it was due to his mental health, but she doesn’t know that.

“I can pull you into the light, Julián. You just have to let me and stop running when shit gets hard, because I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always find you.”

“It’s not that simple.” He buries his head into my chest, taking a deep breath to smell my bare skin. “I’ll try to never run again, but god, I wish it were that simple.”

“Just follow me, always? That’s as simple as it can get,” I whisper, massaging his scalp with my fingernails to calm him.

He gets himself dressed, and we cook together from a bag of groceries that appeared with a knock, but Mateo had disappeared before I could thank him. After three servings, Julián’s stomach finally stops groaning in hunger. We don’t talk about it; we don’t need to. I love him, every dark and light part of him, and I will never leave his side, until my fate pulls me away. And even then, I will fight like hell.

Chapter Thirty-Three

I wake to the slight rocking of the boat as the ocean swells as always. There’s something beautiful about the way it’s in constant motion but never changing. The light outside the small windows is creeping in, draping the room in a deep orange. Julián is fast asleep, and I unwrap his arm from my waist and lean up to glance out the window. The sunrise peeking over the horizon of the sea takes my breath away once again. Instead of focusing on all the sunrises I’ve missed, I smile at the fact that my first one was with Julián in such a special place. The more time I spend with Julián here and immerse myself in his way of life, the easier it is to not resent the way my life has been lived so far. It feels like every new memory made washes away the anger and resentment I have toward the hand I’ve been dealt, piece by piece. The clouds are thin and stretched out, hanging low in the sky, as the sun passes them, blindingly hanging above the water. I watch until my eyes burn, relishing in the beauty. Once the sun is high in the sky, I turn to face Julián, looking at his sleeping body, his newly cleaned space. He must have a spidey sense, because his body begins to move a little as I watch him, the morning sunlight making him look like a golden god.

Julián mumbles something in his sleep—my name, I think—and I glance back at him. He stretches his long arms out like a cat and reaches for the empty space on the small mattress where I slept peacefully in his embrace the entire night.

“Ryyyy.” He draws out my name. “Venir al llit.” He taps the top mattress, and I smile, knowing exactly what he’s saying without needing a translation.

I climb over toward him, and he pulls me on top of his body, wrapping his arms around me and rocking us back and forth.

“I missed you, my Ry,” he whispers against my earlobe.

A shiver runs down my spine and I move my hair to one side of my neck.

“I was only at the window for a little while. I watched the sunrise.” I smile, loving the way our bodies feel pressed together.

“One second away from you is absolutely unbearable,” he says with certainty. I wish on everything that he’s right.

“You could have woken me.” He tucks my hair behind my ear and pouts, making me playfully poke his chest.

When did we become this way? Intertwined so deeply? When we met, I thought we would be a fling, the first of my life—but here I am, madly, desperately, devastatingly in love with this man. The promise of a meaningless summer romance couldn’t be further from what we’ve become.

I can’t look into his eyes because I know I will say too much, or too little, not sure which would be worse right now, so instead I close my eyes and find his lips with mine. He inhales as I open my thighs to rest on either side of him and my hips press against his. He lifts them gently as I tease him, circling over his waist, brushing over him ever so gently.

“We’re going to watch the sunrise thousands of times together, remember, no matter what,” he promises as he lifts my shirt over my head.

“No matter what,” I repeat softly.

His warm mouth covers my skin, making my mind go nearly blank. The peaceful silence that Julián brings to my life is such a gift. I will never take it for granted. His tongue runs along the skin in the center of my neck to the edge of my shoulder. His teeth gently bite into me, and I groan, head falling back, in complete euphoria. Reality slips away as the boat rocks us gently and my hands pull at Julián’s underwear. He lifts his hips, and I toss them to the side and climb backward a bit. His eyes burn into mine as I take him into my mouth.

His head falls back briefly as I move my mouth up and down his length. He brings his gaze back to mine and locks it there, keeping eye contact with me as I please him. I can feel the wetness pooling in my panties with each of his moans. He brings one hand up to hold my hair back, never breaking eye contact. I’ve never felt so sexy, so in control and seductive in my entire life. I use my tongue to tease the tip of him, and his eyes roll back in his head. I smile and keep going, beyond pleased with the way his legs jerk as I continue to move my mouth and his grip on my hair tightens, gently tugging at the roots, and I nearly come undone without him even touching me. His body stiffens as release tears through him. Warmth fills my mouth as every muscle in his body relaxes, collapsing into the thin mattress.

His breath is staggered as I move to lie on him again, rubbing my nose against his and kissing his flushed cheeks, hisstubbly chin, his closed eyes, his sweat-beaded forehead. He’s impossibly beautiful.

“Jesus, Ry,” he puffs. “I love you.”

“Because of what I just did or…” I tease him. He laughs, cupping my face with his hands. They’re so big they cover the span of it.

“Both, of course.” He winks and we share a laugh. Mid-laugh he kisses my eyelids, his soft winded breath is warm against my skin.

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