Page 41 of The Last Sunrise

“Well, my dad isn’t dead, but he might as well be. I’ve never met him and don’t know anything about him aside from his name. I wrote him on Facebook once a few years ago, but he blocked me. I guess his wife and kids don’t know about me and he wants to keep it that way.” I shrug, remembering their smiling family photos, dressed in matching khaki pants and white linen shirts in the middle of the woods.

“I used to wonder which was worse—death or abandonment.” I admit aloud one of my darkest curiosities.

Julián takes it in, his lips moving in a circle as he considers the thought.

“For me, abandonment, because it’s a choice. Then again, I have all these memories with my mare that haunt me, all theseregrets and guilt, knowing I’m the reason she never got to have a life,” he tells me.

I don’t know when our bodies moved, but we’re inches away from each other now, his hand on my forearm.

“In a way, I’m the reason my mom doesn’t have a life either. She works constantly because of all my—” I almost slip.

Oh god, I was so close to saying it. The one thing I don’t want him to know. My ultimate sob story.

“My student loan debt and being a single mother,” I explain.

The lie slides down my throat like acid, sitting heavily in the pit of my stomach like a rock.

Guilt begins to eat at me the longer I look at him. I know it’s wrong to not warn him, give him a chance to run away now, but I can’t. It’s selfish, but I can’t. Thankfully, he chimes in before my lie has another chance to grow.

“So, we have another thing in common. We both ruined our moms’ lives and are incredibly judgmental.” He smiles, and our twisted laughter drowns out the itch to tell him every single detail that I’m desperate to keep hidden.

Chapter Fifteen

By the time I get back to my hotel, I’m floating and drift into the deepest sleep of my entire life. I don’t wake up once.

The next morning, the water pressure in my shower is just right, the tinted sunscreen and mascara glide on my sun-kissed skin flawlessly. Everything seems to have a pinkish glow. The air feels even more fresh as I peer out my window to the street below. Vendors are setting up for the day, and children run through the streets blowing bubbles. The smell of fresh bread fills my room. My stomach grumbles and I grab my tote, water bottle, and head out. I knock on my mom’s suite door, but she doesn’t respond and there’s no noise coming from inside.

I feel a little guilty for the relief that runs over me. As I step off the elevator, the lobby appears even more sparkling and lavish, the smell of the sea more enticing, and as I pass a ten-foot-tall mirror hanging on the wall, I stop to admire how glowy I am. The deep-green sundress flatters my skin tone. My purple bathing suit straps peek out on my shoulders. Even my seashell necklace flashes under the lights. Something inside me has shifted, and it’s such a splendid feeling. I reread Julián’s WhatsApp message again and again. It’s only one text, a simple:

Sweet dreams, Ry. Message me anytime and I’ll be there.

But those two sentences have my heart rapidly beating out of my chest, my mouth dry, and my fingers itching to message him at least forty million times.

Am I in love?I wonder as I twirl in a circle admiring my reflection in the lobby mirror. How do people know when they’re in love, and is it possible to love someone so quickly? The heart is such a confusion-inducing organ. It flutters at the thought of him, soars at the sight of him, aches at the absence of him—is that love?

Can you love someone before you know their middle name or what makes them the happiest, or the smell that reminds them of their favorite memory?

I have no damn clue, but the way I feel about Julián is so intense that I can’t concentrate on anything else. It doesn’t matter if my eyes are open or closed; his beautiful face and warm laughter are ever present.

“Heyyy.” Amara waves to me from behind the desk, cutting off my spiraling internal monologue. The landline phone is against her ear as I approach her.

“Give me one sec, don’t go yet,” she whispers, covering the receiver. “No, we do not allow exotic pets. I’m sorry but it’s against our policy… and the law,” she politely responds in a tone reserved only for her job.

“Mhm, I completely understand, sir, but we cannot allow a tiger cub on our premises.” She rolls her eyes and waits for their response.

“Sorry, but I can’t help you further,” she finally says, hanging the phone up.

“A tiger?” I ask in disbelief, wondering where the ridiculous request is coming from since she was speaking in English.

Nodding, she laughs. “That’s far from the craziest request we’ve had.

“Did you like my customer service voice? I’ve nearly perfected it,” she jokes, flipping her curly hair behind her shoulder.

Through my laughter, I nod. “Very much.”

“So”—she leans across the marble counter—“I heard you had quite the adventure yesterday.” Her brows wiggle as my cheeks flush.

“How did you already find out?” I chew on the inside of my cheek, flashes of Julián’s hands and mouth all over me making my entire body shiver.

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