Page 71 of Demise

He asked one of the clubhouse hookers to help him Christmas shop for me. I wasn’t pleased about it then. I laugh lightly.

How naïve I was. I put the top back on the lotion and return it. I rinse my face and open the door.

“You okay?” he asks. He’s sitting on the bed.

“You kept everything I left behind.”

“So?” he says.

“So? Why didn’t you throw it all away? I was gone from your life. I was married and had my own home and it had nothing to do with you. Why would you keep all those things that had everything to do with me?” I shake my head. “Why don’t you hate me? You should, you know? You should hate me.”

He stands up. “Oh, I hated you, trust me. But the love I had for you ran deeper. I couldn’t shake it. I knew you’d be back here.” He lifts his back collar, pulls his shirt over his head, and hits his chest. “I knew it right here.”

“How were you so sure about that? So positive you’ve frozen our past in time. You knew what you wanted back then. You wanted the streets, you wanted the world you’ve got now.”

He shakes his head. “But with everything I’ve gained, I’ve lost you. And what is all I have without you?”

Chapter Fifty

Bones

Bexley isn’t wrong. I was sure of what I wanted back then, but it wasn’t just the streets. I believed I could have her and the lifestyle. I was a boy in a man’s world. Foolish enough to expect her to want to live the same way I did. And that’s just not the way it works. The road I chose isn’t for everyone. It wasn’t for her and she stood her ground.

I’ll never fault her for that.

There are only two things you can feel about a person who doesn’t wager on who they are: envy or admiration.

Because it takes willpower to stay true to yourself no matter the cost. Not everyone can, and that’s where the envy comes from.

Maybe getting caught is the one thing that saved me. Saved me from being alone the rest of my life, from being without her. And even though I lost her then, I knew I’d get her again. I believed it with everything in me.

I made a promise to myself that I would. That was me staying true to who I was. I had to find my way, but all along, I knew she’d be mine again.

“The cops are on the way,” a woman says from behind Bexley.

“That’s assault, my boy. You’re going to jail,” Hale says, touching his jaw.

I blink, wiping my face with the back of my hand, realizing what I’ve done by the look on Bexley’s face. I messed up. I messed everything up.

“Bexley,” I say, reaching for her.

“Stop!” she says. “Just stop. Why are you doing this?”

“Because I love you! You’re all I’ve got. You’re all that matters.”

“Then why?” she asks, moving around her uncle, who tries to stop her, but she shrugs him off. “Why didn’t you show up? Why don’t you show up?”

I grab her hand, gripping it with both of mine. My eyes scan hers and I try to tell her, to connect like we do. “Marry me,” I say quietly. “Let me show you I can be better.”

I hear sirens and a car pull up. Doors open and Johnny says my name again, but I don’t look away from Bexley.

Her beautiful face shatters. “No,” she says as tears roll over her lips.

I kiss her hand in agony, just before words are spoken to me from behind. My arms are snatched back, and I’m taken away. I look ahead, lifting my chin as the cops toss me into the car.

And as I stare at the seat, I make a promise to myself.

I will get her back.

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