Page 34 of Demise

My blood is boiling, but I keep quiet, simply because my brother asked me to listen.

Respect.

“Go on then,” I say. “I’m all ears.”

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Bexley

I say nothing to the driver as I shut the door and walk toward the coffee shop. I’m anxious to speak with Danny. He’s been gone all morning, and I’ve heard no word. The bell chimes above the door as I walk in, spotting Billie sitting at a table near the window. She wears a blue jean shirt with black pants. Grizzled with creases lining the edge of her soft eyes, she smiles my way.

“Bexley, so good to see you,” the barista Natty says. Everyone in the place looks to me, but I’m not easily embarrassed. My expression switches from annoyed with my driver, which I didn’t ask for or choose, to at ease with the familiar territory. I give Natty a smile and a wave hello.

Billie stands as I near.

“Oh, Bexley, what happened?” she asks.

“Just a twisted ankle. I’ll be fine in a few days.”

She looks to my head but doesn’t question it. We both take a seat. “I took the liberty of ordering you a coffee. Vanilla latte, if I remember correctly?”

“Yes. Thank you.” I place my crutches against the window and have a sip of the warm coffee.

“Hmm,” I say in approval.

She nods in agreement. “Always loved getting coffee here when the shop was open. It’s been a while since I’ve been here.”

“Well, me too, considering I was kidnapped and all.” I try for a joke, but it doesn’t land.

She smiles a little, probably out of kindness because I realize now it wasn’t funny.

“How are you handling things? I’m so sorry about Samuel.”

I turn the cup between my hands. “Just taking it one minute at a time.”

“Yes, I suppose that’s all you can do.”

I nod, my eyes going to the window, watching as people walk by. “It’s funny, you know. He’s been gone for over a month now, but I was gone, too, so it’s like I could tell myself he was at home waiting on me, but now… now I’m there with all of his things, and it’s just...” I sigh. “I don’t know what to do with his stuff. Should I keep it or give it away or…? I don’t know.” I look over at her.

She speaks softly, “Thankfully, I have no experience with losing a husband. But I think you keep everything until you’re ready to let it go. We all grieve in our own way. My father died when I was a teen, and I remember my mom kept this one shirt of his. It was his favorite. He wore it every Saturday. Everything else, she got rid of. Said it wasn’t doing anyone any good sitting around not being used.”

“What about my wedding band?”

She looks to my hand. “I see you’re not wearing it now, so I think you’ve already made that decision.”

I run a finger over the tan mark. “Why do I feel guilty? Like taking off the ring, giving away his stuff… it’s like saying I’m over him.”

She doesn’t miss a beat. “I don’t think it means that. The truth of it is, in life we have to move on. If this helps you, then I think you’re doing the right thing. It doesn’t mean you forget; it doesn’t mean you’re over him. I think it means you’re doing your best and it’s all you can do.”

I agree. I’ll never forget Samuel, but I do have to move on with my life. He’ll always be in my heart, but he’s not here anymore, and I have to accept that. The years we shared, they were special and I’m so thankful I had them.

I’ve got to keep living. “I believe you’re right. Thank you.”

“Anytime,” she says.

We’re silent for a moment, and then I realize she probably didn’t ask me here for just a therapy session.

“So, how are things with you?”

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