What was I hoping for here?
What has changed?
Nothing.
Danny isn’t done with the lifestyle he’s always wanted. Danny’s lifestyle is the reason we’re in this banged-up situation. Maybe what happened to us isn’t his fault directly, but it’s because of his choices that we were put in that predicament. That we almost died.
People andtheirshitty choices.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, opening my eyes when I hear his deep voice. He laughs at something she said.
My head swims with half-formed regret. My heart struggles to keep a steady beat as my blood converts into asphalt. I’m not new to heartache; I’ve felt it from this man before.
I inhale, trying to ease the pain, but no amount of deep breathing can do that. Heartache goes away when heartache is ready, and no sooner.
It’s a heaviness that sits without apology. Unwilling to ease so my lungs can breathe a little better. With a white-knuckle grip on my crutches, I tell myself to go.
Samuel.
I need to properly grieve his loss. I didn’t have but a moment to say goodbye to my husband. We shared a life together. Even though,always, in the back of my soul, therewasDanny. Uncle Hale was right. He sank his teeth into me when I was just a girl, and I’ve never been able to shake him.
The truth is, I fell for Danny harder than a slip on black ice. That beautiful, disastrous ice. It bruised me. It pained me more times than I care to remember. It’s something I’ll never forget, I’ll never overcome, but I have learned to live with it, and I’ll do it again.
I steady myself, place the crutches under my arms, and head back the way I came.
“Bexley?” I turn my head to see Johnny.
“Hey,” I say with a half-smile, readjusting myself.
He looks at me for a beat. “You okay?”
I nod. “Yeah. Breaking out of here.” My voice doesn’t match my mood. It’s lighter than I feel on the inside.
“Did you want to…” He signals back at the room.
I wave my hand dismissively. “Nah, he’s got company and I…” I tilt my head, hating the look of remorse that once again washes over me. “Well… I gotta get home,” I say regretfully. Sorrow wraps around my tone, the façade of being fine with all of this dissipates.
Johnny’s face seems to mimic mine, but then he nods in understanding. I can’t live Danny’s life, and he can’t live mine, and what a misery that will always be.
“You take care,” he says.
I try to smile again but fail, so instead, I give him a wave. My throat is too full of emotion to let me speak again. I head out of the hospital, not bothering to wipe the tears.
Chapter Twelve
Sweep
Not many men haul around plastic wrapping and duct tape, but I’mnotmany men. I’m the cleanup man. Miles’ body is wrapped in my trunk.
Miles.
The one Bones lent money to so he could start that restaurant. He was a friend of ours from school. Bones was doing him a favor, trying to be a nice guy and all, but the leech started using in the kitchen.
“What did I tell you, Miles?” Bones asks as he slams his fist into the man’s face. “Repeat what I said.”
Miles spits onto the floor, wiggling his hands, which are tied behind his back.
I sigh inwardly, annoyed.