Page 8 of Insurgent

“Life is about choices.”

My heart slows its beat, my chest aches. All I want to do is curl up in bed and sleep, but I’m afraid that won’t be easy.

I’ve never felt this type of pain before. It’s untouchable. Sure, Danny has made me sad, he’s worried me, but knowing it’s the end? Knowing I can’t go on like this? It hurts worse than anything I’ve ever experienced. I feel defeated.

“You won, Danny O’Brien. You’ve finally pushed me away,” I whisper.

“You ready?” I hear behind me. I look up, seeing Samuel with a loose bowtie around his neck.

“I’m sorry I ruined prom for you, too.”

He scoffs. “These things are lame anyway. You wanna go grab some food or something?”

I shake my head. “Truthfully, I just want to get out of this dress and forget this whole day.”

He nods, and a second later he reaches his hand out to help me up. I take it, and he makes a show that I’m heavy, pulling me up a little too hard, so I end up bumping into his chest, which makes me laugh. His hand goes to my waist, and his expression changes from playful to serious.

My eyes look to his before bouncing down to his lips. For a moment, I feel my age. Eighteen, in a pretty dress at school, with an average boy who likes to play baseball. My mind replays the last few years, going over every special moment I’ve had with Danny. From the birthdays to the car rides we’d take listening to music and smoking.

The fights and the makeups. It rewinds all the way back to Thanksgiving when this boy right here invited me over. I’d made a choice that day to take a chance on Danny. I wouldn’t trade our time together for anything, but I know now I made the wrong choice. I understand that there was never going to be a future for us, because a normal life doesn’t play into Danny’s way of living.

Paul’s words from the last heartache Danny caused me roll through my thoughts.

“Danny will always be married to the streets. You’ll always be wondering where he is or if he’s coming home.”

I’ve been a silly girl, swept up in a dangerous romance. Playtime is over. Danny is a criminal and I’m afraid, that’s all he’ll ever be.

I clear my throat and move my face away from Samuel’s. “You know he’d kill us both.”

Samuel shakes his head. “I’m not a little boy anymore, Bexley. I can take my brother.”

I look him over for a moment. Samuel is fit, having played sports nearly his entire life. Danny does his own working out, push-ups and pull-ups in the backyard at his lake house. It would be a close fight. Both guys could hold their own, but Samuel couldn’t take Danny’s gun, and truthfully, I don’t think Samuel could take Danny, period. Danny’s ruthless; he’d fight to kill.

“I would hate you two to fight over me. Let’s just go.”

“Are you going to end things with him?” he asks as I start to walk toward the parking lot.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do.” I look down when he grabs my arm, spinning me around to face him.

“Don’t be stupid, Bexley. You know this will never stop. He will always hurt you.”

My façade breaks and my voice cracks. I cover my mouth as tears fill my eyes. “You don’t think I know that? You don’t think I’m dying here?”

Samuel looks guilty, and he pulls me close to him. “Shh, Bex. Don’t cry.”

But I can’t help it. I sob uncontrollably into his chest, gripping the material of his suit. In the school’s parking lot, pain-filled teardrops cover my face, and I hold on to Samuel because he’s the only thing keeping me from falling.

Chapter Five

Bones

One month two days missing

I’m torn in two. Ripped from the inside out. My boy? I don’t understand. Where did I go wrong with him? How did I take everything from him? Bexley keeps trying to get me to talk, but I can’t right now.

I was a little harsh when I told her to be quiet earlier. But she doesn’t get what’s going through my mind right now. I’ve been betrayed. I’ve been gutted. I never in a million years would have seen this coming.

I would have bet my life on it. I try to recall everything we’ve done together. All of our conversations. I keep coming up empty-handed. I don’t know what I did. I would have died for this man.

---