Page 61 of Insurgent

“It’s been a month.”

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Danny

“What?” I say. She looks back at me, a baffled hurt expression on her face. “We’ve been here a month. Samuel has been dead for only a month.” She looks like she’s about to freak out.

Oh.

“Yeah,” I reply, getting the picture. She’s not over him. Why would she be? She chose him over me. She decided to live her life with him. It pisses me off.

“One month, a few days,” I say, licking my lips so I can taste her skin that I just kissed.

“I’m sorry,” she says, her eyes filling with tears. She reaches out and touches my chest, looking at her hands placed there. “You don’t know how torn I am.” Her eyes go to mine. “I’ve loved you my whole life, Danny. But I married Samuel and now he’s dead and I don’t know what I feel about anything, but I know I loved him. I know that.”

Why does she have to keep reminding me?

Doesn’t she know that I hurt, too. That that kills me. That I’ve been suffering for years because she married my brother and not me.

“I know. I love you, too, but I can’t do anything about loving you right now. I can’t––”

I reach up and hold her hands against my chest. “I’d say I understood, but I don’t. I’ve only ever loved you.”

She swallows and a tear rolls down her cheek. I want to wipe it away, but I like holding her hands even though my wrists burn, my back hurts, and my head throbs.

“I don’t know what to say to that,” she says.

“There’s nothing to say, love.”

She blinks, nods, and drops her hands.

And I feel so sad in this moment. Like I’ve lost something so important and I have no idea how to get it back. I feel like Tom Hanks when he lost Wilson and I know that’s a stupid thing to even think right now, but it’s how I feel. Heartbroken over something I lost years ago.

I clear my throat. “The sun will come up soon.” I look at my watch.

“What are we going to do?” she asks, biting her bottom lip.

And just like that, reality sets in. Our situation is thrown back in my face.

The way she asks me…what are we going to do?She is truly asking. She’s looking to me for an answer. She’s worried.

Truthfully, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t. I’m not my best. Any other day, if he didn’t jump me from behind, I could take Trig’s crazy ass with no problem, but I’m weak, malnourished. I’m doing good just to stand up right now.

And talking about our past hasn’t really helped, but I have an instinct to protect her. So, when the time comes, that’s what I’ll do. No matter if it gets me killed. She gives me the energy I need. She has to run, though, as quickly as she can.

“We’re gonna fight, love. Because that’s the only choice we have.”

She nods. “Have you thought more about why you think he’s doing this to us?”

I shake my head. “That’s all I’ve thought about. I just can’t wrap my head around it. I keep going over all the shit I’ve done and how it would have affected him. How have I taken everything from the man when I’ve never known him to have a goddamn thing? He was a foster kid, just like Sweep…Johnny,” I say, correcting myself. “He didn’t have a family when I met him. I don’t understand what the hell he’s talking…”

I stop mid-sentence, my mind churning rapidly. I grab my hand, feeling for the ring.

I had it on the day he took us. I know I did.

I plan to take everything from you.

Memories come flooding back from right before all of this happened. I remember the note left at the shop.

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