Page 52 of Insurgent

Sure, Danny and I have chemistry and a history that we can’t change, but what Samuel and I’ve built together is special and engraved in time. I would never want to hurt this love.

Intentionally.

It’s sweet and warm.

“Samuel, do you not see the way I look at you?” I slowly slide my coat off my shoulders. “The day I said yes to marrying you, I was all in from that very moment.” I step out of my shoes. “You’re my husband, the man I chose to live my life with.” I reach behind me and unzip my dress. “Nothing else matters.” I slide the cream cloth down, slipping it over my hips and stepping out of it. “I love you.”

Samuel looks at my body as I unclasp my bra, letting it tickle down my arms on the way off. “Make love to me.”

He reaches out and pulls me to him so my breasts press against his dress shirt. “I’m sorry I talked to you like that.”

“You’re forgiven,” I reply with a small smile.

“Good,” he says, kissing my lips before he scoops me up and heads to the stairs. For the night, I forget about the man who lives in the darkest part of my soul.

_________________

The warm sun shines in through the window, burning bright against my face. My eyes flutter open and I blink. I stretch my arms, feeling the empty space beside me. Samuel’s already off to work. I roll over, sighing and gripping the pillow as I think about yesterday.

I open my hand, looking over my palm. It felt good to slap Danny like that. It also hurt not to say I was sorry.

Regardless, I think he liked it. God, I hate myself. I hate everything about this.

Why can’t he go away and never come back? Why does he keep slipping into my life?

Because you’re married to his brother, dummy.

You’re his family.

I groan into the pillow as my phone rings. Reaching over, I blow my hair from my face and grab it, blinking and stretching my eyes to try to see the name. It’s my uncle. He calls once a week, and I visit him a few times a month. The man who took me in after my mom died gave me a good life. I love him for trying to raise a kid who was heartbroken and having a hard time finding her place in the world. Especially when he was only in his twenties at the time.

“Hello,” I say, sounding groggy from sleep, stress, and needing a drink even though it’s seven a.m.

“Did I wake you?” he asks.

“No, I was just lying here. How are you?”

“I’m fine, sweetheart. How are things with you?”

I contemplate telling him how things really are, but then I decide against it. Hale has never liked Danny. He won’t be happy to know he’s causing trouble between Samuel and me.

So I go the easy way.

“I’m doing well.” I throw the covers off and head into the bathroom. “How’s the family?” I ask.

_________________

After the conversation with my Uncle Hale about his kids and now wife, Trinity, work, and Samuel, I take a shower and slip on a black jumpsuit with cream heels. I blow-dry my thick hair and do a messy side braid, applying some light makeup before heading down to the kitchen. A note sits on the counter from Samuel.

Sorry about yesterday. Not about last night.

-Love S.

I smile, grabbing my tan coat and sliding it on. I slip my phone into my pocket, feeling a piece of paper when I do. The paper feels soft against my skin as I remove my hand. My heart deflates to the pit of my stomach.

It’s the one from Danny telling me to meet him in the alley all those years ago. The words are faded now, because it’s been to the dry cleaners a few times. How it survived, I don’t know.

I exhale, walk over to the stove, and switch it on. Pressing the paper against the eye, I watch it ignite before walking over to the sink. I drop it in, staring at it as it burns, and I find myself wishing that the way I feel about him would burn along with it.

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