Page 100 of Give Me Redemption

I hate how much I want him and how much all of this is sucking the life out of me.

“I wish I didn’t want this,” I say. “I wish I could forget you.” And I can’t believe I said those words out loud. It’s the most honest I’ve been about my feelings since we’ve met.

“Why?” he asks in a rush, confusion laced with underlying hurt.

“It’d just be easier.” I’m full of confessions right now.

Tell him you love him.

Ask him if he still loves you.

“But life’s never been easy for me,” I say. “And I think about you without even meaning to.”

And I love you, Jace, and I want nothing more than to be with you. I want your tomorrows, your yesterdays. I want to be in every memory you’re going to make.

But I don’t say any of this out loud, because what’s the point? It won’t mean anything after tomorrow.

Without me taking another breath, he releases his hands from his pockets and grabs me.

Our lips crash and I bend into him. He lifts me up and my arms go around his neck, my tongue twisting with his, and I taste what it’s like to be free.

Free of this existence I’m trapped in. Free of this pain I feel inside of me every day.

Jace gives meaning to life.

His touch erases regret, and his kiss is red kryptonite, dragging the wild side out of me.

The roughness of the tree scratches my back, and when he touches my breast, I shiver. Heat pools between my thighs, and I grip his waist tighter. He pushes into me, and I wish our clothes didn’t exist. He kisses my neck, and I don’t think I can handle it anymore.

“House,” I say. “Let’s get to the house.”

He nods and lets me loose. In the most delicious way, I slide down his body, and his eyes never look away from my face. He makes me feel so exposed, so impossibly important to him, and it cripples me.

“Why do you look at me like that?” I ask quietly.

He shakes his head, obviously not going to tell me. “Come on.”

Chapter Forty-One

Jace

Magic is what touching her feels like. I hold on to her hand as we walk around the pool and head to the guesthouse. Lightning flashes in the distance, wakening the dark sky, and the sound of thunder rolls above us.

Clouds drift across the moon, and I turn the handle to walk us inside. The door shuts behind us as a whirling wind kicks up. My eyes dart from the window to her, and as the bottom falls out, our eyes lock.

Does she still want to do this?

Can I handle it if she doesn’t?

I get my answer when she rushes to me, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me crazy.

Our hands can’t touch enough; our bodies can’t get close enough. I lift her and hurry to the bedroom. Kicking the door open, I walk us inside and lay her down onto the bed. Running my hands up her shirt, I slide my fingers over her ribcage. She lifts my shirt, and I reach behind my head and pull it off.

We clash teeth and bruise lips as the rain hammers on top of the tin roof and thunder booms, rattling the windows. Kissing has never felt so good, but I want more.

We breathe heavy, and she moans when I settle between her thighs. She reaches down and pulls her shirt up and over her head, tossing it onto the floor.

I push the cup of her bra down and sink my teeth into her breast, sucking and licking. Her nipples harden, and I feel her legs shake. She reaches for my belt, but I sit up and undo it myself as she gets to work on her own pants.