Page 131 of Give Me Redemption

He looks away from me, hitting his smoke again before twirling the filter between his fingers.

“Seems to help me forget shit sometimes. Don’t worry. I’m not an addict or anything.”

“Can I tell you how I feel about it, or are we there yet?” I don’t want to cross the line with him. I’m shocked that I’m even here right now, when only a short time ago we were sitting in the courthouse waiting to hear if his brother was going to prison because of me.

Jace could have never reached out to me again, and I wouldn’t have been surprised one bit. It’s a rocky road we’re on, but I feel like I need to be myself as much as possible.

“Go on,” he says. “Right now, it doesn’t really matter what you think, though.”

“It doesn’t?”

“No. You have zero right to tell me how to live my life.”

“That’s fair.” I exhale. “I don’t care for it. You’re better than what you make people think of you.”

“What does that mean?” he asks with narrowed eyes.

“It means you believe people already think you’re this fuck-up. This guy who parties too hard and goes too far, but you’re not a fuck-up and you don’t have to prove them right. You can be better. You are better.”

“Yeah.” He scoffs. “What do you know?” he says quietly.

I wince and run a hand over my throat. When he sat at the bar with me, I thought that was his way of saying he was going to try to get past this. But his actions are proving different. I know my fuck-up was epic. I know what I did to him will leave a scar, but I’m not the type of woman to sit around on thin ice until it breaks.

I said I’d take the fall. I’d risk the hurt to try to be with him, but I’m not sure. Maybe he needs some time. I place my hands on the edge of my seat and drop my feet on the cement.

“I need to head home.”

“Wait, why are you leaving?” he asks, standing up, looking panicked.

God, I’ll never forgive myself for what I did to this man.

He’s torn. He wants to forgive me, but at the same time, I don’t think he does.

I stand up, too, running a hand over my blouse.

“Honestly, Jace, I don’t think you’re ready for this.”

He goes to say something, but I put my fingers over his lips. “And that’s okay. I understand.” My heart sinks to the bottom of my stomach, hanging its head in defeat. “I don’t know why you came to Hudson’s. I never expected you to, but you did, and you have no idea how happy that made me, but I have no expectations here.

“I’m not going anywhere. When you think you’re ready to move forward, if you decide that’s what you want, I’ll be waiting.”

I drop my hand and lean up to kiss him on the cheek. He doesn’t move, and I walk away, praying he chooses us.

Chapter Fifty-Three

Harlow

“And that’s the way you left it?” Monroe asks me as we sit in the car. It’s early, and we’ve got coffee for the office and biscuits. It’s been two days since I walked out of Jace’s place. Two days of worrying and constantly looking at my phone for him to call. I told him I’d give him time, so that’s what I’m doing, but damn, if it’s not driving me mad.

“Yeah. What else am I supposed to do?”

“Nothing,” he says. “The ball is in his court. He can decide he wants you, or he can decide to move on. Just sucks you have to wait for him to figure this out.”

I shrug. “Like I would be doing anything else anyway. I don’t care for anyone else. I only want him.”

Monroe nods. “You told Davy any of this yet?”

I shake my head. “No.”

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