Page 94 of Give Me Redemption

I’m going to use him and make him want me, and I’ll even let him have me just so I can earn his trust. After that, I’m going to bury his brother and move the fuck on with my life.

“I’ve never been surer. This will be over before we can blink.” I start the car and head back to the office.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Jace

“You all right?” Bryce asks me as he walks into the loft. I’ve been hanging out here more than at home lately because Bryce has been staying at his apartment. He and Harrison are pretty serious now. Mary came through. She’s clean and sober today, getting a grip on her life, trying to be a better person, blah, blah. Pops and Emily, after years of being an unmarried couple, are tying the knot, and I’m…well, I’m not doing much of anything.

I take a sip of my beer, looking at the TV.

I smile over at him. “I’m good, brother. You? Where’s Harrison?”

“She’s got a date with Claire.” He rolls his eyes.

I laugh. “You wanna have a date with me?”

He takes a seat. “No.”

I fake offense. “What’s so wrong with me?”

He grins. “You’re not K.”

I shrug. “I get that.”

We look at the TV, neither of us saying anything for a moment, and then he says something that settles deep in my soul, moving the grief there, trying to break up the pieces to ease the pressure.

“Whatever you’re thinking. Whatever you’ve got set inside your mind about what happened to all of you out there.” He rubs his hand over his knee, and then he looks at me. “It’s not your fault. It was a goddamn tragedy, and I know you’re hurting and blaming yourself, but no one faults you.

“I know this sounds selfish, but I’m glad you’re the one who came home, because it would have killed me, Jace.”

His honesty shocks me. Our relationship has been rocky, but there’s so much love between us. I’d do anything for this guy, and I know he’d do the same for me.

We may fight and have urges to strangle one another at times, but it doesn’t change how deep our bond goes.

This boy is my brother. He messed up when we were growing up. I’m the fuck-up now.

Eventually, the ice thaws and you’re left with the cold truth.

Life isn’t easy and people aren’t perfect, but it’s important to have a few good ones by your side for the ride, because no one wants to go through this alone.

I’ll never get over the things that happened in the Army. They’ll always be something I think about, second-guess, wonder if I would have done something differently would any of my boys be here with me now.

But there’s the cold truth again.

I can’t change the past. What has happened, it’s happened.

I’m the one left.

And I forget sometimes that maybe I’m the lucky one.

Maybe.

I’m too choked up to reply, so I just nod.

We spend the rest of the evening tossing back some beers and catching up on the good old days.

And it helps me.

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