Page 93 of Give Me Redemption

A few months isn’t enough time.

At least not for me.

The realization of that made my knees weak. Ice water flowed down my backbone, and my heart froze over. I stepped back into the darkness and remembered who I was. My lungs filled with blackness, and I shut everything off.

I’m married to my career. Jace was just a job.

He didn’t love me, and I didn’t love him…not really. It was the thrill of our relationship that had me hooked.

That was all.

Just the thrill.

I watched him walk away from the girl and make his way to the bathroom. I lifted my beer and took a sip. Monroe was on the dance floor with some girl. I was envious of him, too.

How had my life gotten to this point?

I rubbed my forehead and focused back on Jace as he walked out of the bathroom and looked this way.

See me,I’d thought.

Make eye contact.

But he didn’t. Instead, he turned and went the other way, looking confident and carefree. And then he blew my mind.

I sat up straighter, my mouth hung. After all this time, he hadn’t said a word, and now he never had to because he just showed me. Jace walked right through the all brick wall and disappeared.

“Bingo,” I’d whispered.

It was there all this time, right in front of everyone. But who in the hell would even think,hey, there’s a door back there?There was no way I could have gone and checked it out. There were bodyguards all over the place. So, I ordered a shot of whiskey and smiled when I took it.

Cheers. Here’s to finally getting this shit over with and moving on with my life.

____________

“I know exactly where it is,” I tell Monroe as we sit in the car enjoying some coffee and…doughnut.

Yeah, yeah, fuck off.

“But you still have to get in. You still have to bust the man at the scene. You’re going to have to contact Jace again and get him to take you inside.”

“I know,” I reply. “I’m ready to do this. I’m over the guy. I just want to move on, and the sooner I bust his brother, the sooner I can.”

“So, what’s your plan?”

I exhale. “I’m going to try to win him back.”

Monroe looks over at me. “You sure you can do this?”

My jaw tightens, and my heart skips a beat. I remember watching him walk back in Red with the biggest smile on his face, and then I remember the woman he grabbed from the bar. It was a different one this time, and he took her upstairs.

He loves me.

Yeah, right. He just loved the chase, and once he realized I wasn’t giving in, he got bored and moved on.

But I’ve got other plans now. I’m going to win him back, but this time, I’m not letting my emotions get in the way.

I’m going to be a man.

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