Page 91 of Give Me Redemption

“I hope I do!” I say as I walk through the broom closet. I tap three times on the opposite door before it slides open. My eyes look over the place. Red carpet stretches below my feet, and there’s a cloud of cigar smoke floating in the air.

I smile and head down the stairs.

I need a drink, a cigar, and some poker chips.

_______________

There’s a big-ass grin on my face when I walk back into Red. I’ve won a shitload of money, and I’m high as fuck. I tug on my blazer and lift my chin as I walk through.

The lights are dancing above me, the music vibrating my soul. I walk up to the bar and the bartender notices. He grabs a beer from the cooler and opens it before sliding it to me. “’Preciate it,” I say with a nod. I take a sip as a girl walks up. She’s cute. She orders a fruity drink and I miss the girl who could just drink a beer.

I sniff and rub my nose, turning to her. “You like those fruity things?” I ask her.

She grins, checking me out.

I smirk.

“As a matter of fact, I do.”

I take a drink, licking my lips after. “You wanna head up there with that fruity drink?”

She looks up. “Never been up there.” The bartender places her glass in front of her.

“First time for everything,” I say.

She smiles. “I’m down for first times.”

“Cool. Come on.”

______________

Bryce and Harrison went home hours ago, and the girl I brought up here sleeps on her stomach in the bed below me as I stand on the roof enjoying a smoke. Smog covers the city, the lights twinkle around me, and I inhale a deep drag as I slide my hand into my slacks pocket. I look down at my bare stomach and run my finger over a scar.

“Shit,” I cough, feeling something wet coming from my stomach. I look down, seeing blood and a piece of metal sticking into me. It’s not deep, but deep enough. I carefully grab it and pull it out, wincing.

“Banister.” I cough. I blink away dust and fragments floating in the air.

And that’s when I see him. His leg is completely gone. He’s not moving. I tremble and cough out a sob.

“Fucking hell.” I’m going to die here. We’re all going to die here. Where are Davidson and Rocket?

“Rocket!” I call out just as another bomb goes off in the next room. Rocks and rubble fly, blasting into me. The wall behind my back gives, and I feel it fall on top of me, burying me, hitting me in the head as I try to cover it.

Gunshots sound and men, who I can’t understand, run in talking. “You motherfuckers,” I hear Rocket. He’s hurt, I can tell in his voice. I want to call out to him, but they’ll hear me.

Pop, pop, pop.

Pop, pop, pop.

And everything goes silent.

I stand on the rooftop with my heart in my throat. I listened to him die. I lay there under the crumbled wall and let him die.

“I’m sorry,” I weep. My shoulders tremble and I fall to my knees. “I’m so sorry,” I cry. I sit back on my hunches and stare up at the sky. God, what is my life? Why did I live, and all of those good men go?

I look out at the city, take a hit of my smoke before tossing it, and wipe my face. I inhale and head back down into the loft.

It’s quiet and early in the morning. Light starts to show in the sky, and I walk over to the girl sleeping.

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