Page 30 of Give Me Redemption

I sniff and turn my head to him. “Look, brother. I was the perfect motherfucker for seven of the eight years I served. I’ve done my part. I’ve seen shit that…” I stop and stare down at the floor. I wish I could shut this film off that replays in my mind. I wish I could eject the memory and toss the tape into a fire.

But I can’t. I couldn’t do anything about it then, and I can’t do anything about it now.

And it hurts

Fuck, does it hurt.

“Is that why you did what you did?” Bryce asks.

I blink away the bad memories and shake my head while reaching for my beer on the table. I don’t want to talk about this. It doesn’t change anything. “I just want to have a little fun for a while. Forget about some things. Okay?”

His eyes search my face for a moment, and I think he’s going to press the matter, but he surprises me by saying, “Okay.”

High on cocaine, I pull the same girl onto my lap and whisper into her ear, “I think we need some alone time.” She giggles.

My brother leans back as lights dance around us, over our faces and across the floor. Naked women walk around, giving Bryce lust-filled eyes. He needs to lighten up a bit. Have some fun. The music from the club vibrates my bones, and drugs numb the pain. If only for a moment, I can forget my issues and be guilt-free.

“You wanna play, Bryce?” One chick smiles and bends down in front of my brother.

One of the girls I’ve got starts kissing me, reminding me that I’m here. I’m not back there anymore, and I never will be again. The rush of the cocaine sends my body into happy mode, and I let go of dark thoughts. I feel Bryce stand up beside me.

“Where are you going?”

He looks over at me and down at my pants, which are undone.

Oops.

“Have fun, brother. I’ve got someone I need to talk to.”

What?

I move the girls away and stand up. “Wait, you’re leaving all of this?” I say disbelievingly.

“Yeah, I saw someone I know down there.”

I peek out the window and spot her sitting at the bar. My brow lifts in surprise. “Harrison?”

My brother looks a little uncomfortable as he rubs his buzzed hair.

“What’s the deal with that? You haven’t fucked her yet?” I ask.

He narrows his eyes. “It’s not like that.”

“Not like that?” I step back, eyes widening. “What other way could it be for you?”

Is he serious?

He grabs his nape. “I don’t know. This one’s different.”

I can’t even help the fucking smile that spreads across my lips. I never would have thought it. Never.

“Holy hell.”

“What?” he responds.

“I never thought I’d see the day.” I know I look goofy, but I can’t control my grin. I blink and sniff because I’m drunk and high, and damn, I feel good.

“The fuck you talking about?” Bryce says.

---