Page 14 of Give Me Redemption

Bryce and Pops always had a relationship that I never did. They had an understanding, if you will. Bryce became reckless when we moved here. It was like he was a wild animal that had been stuck in his cage for far too long, and once we got here, the door was opened and he stormed out with fury.

Pops got him into boxing so he’d have somewhere to focus that anger he had bottled up inside of him.

I became the kid in the background. Not that Pops and I didn’t have our own small moments, but it wasn’t the same. So, I started being the funny one. I’d crack jokes to get their attention instead of coming home drunk like my brother did. Still, the focus was always on him.

It’s cool.

It’s in the past.

I guess now I’m making up for lost time.

Bryce fucked up when he was a teenager; I’m fucking up as an adult.

We enter the barn, and the smell of hay and horses fills my nose, taking me back to a little boy with dirty fingernails and messy hair, running through here as my brother chased me for my amusement.

Pops looks over at us as Doc and Holliday come in behind. Doc drops the ball and Holliday quickly picks it up.

Pops stands up right and wipes his hands off with a dirty old grease rag. He’s aged since I left. I’ve seen him a handful of times, but it’s been a while, and there are more wrinkles and gray hair. But this man is a gem. He’s one of the rare ones.

Hell, he took in two boys who were far from babies and were broken.

I sigh internally.

Still broken.

“Son, it’s damn good to have you home,” he says, walking over to me. I smile and we embrace. Pops doesn’t hug often, so it’s something when he does.

He pulls back and I look over at Emily, who never cries, but there’s gloss in her eyes.

Calm down, guys. I rub my nose and clear my throat.

“We were worried constantly,” she says. “Especially when we heard about the bom—”

“Ah, you know me,” I interrupt her. “I’m a survivor.”

She nods. “Yeah, you are. I’m sorry about the rest,” she says. “I know it had to be hard for you.”

I nod as I try not to think about that shit. I look over at the tractor. “Got it fixed?” I ask Pops. “I learned a little from the mechanic we had. I could take a look at it.”

He nods. “Yeah, that’d be good.”

“Well, I’ll go fix us all some lunch while you two catch up,” Emily says as she starts to walk off. She whistles for the dogs to follow her and they do.

“How long you been back?” Pops asks.

“I got in yesterday,” I reply.

“Oh. Glad you came on out.” He looks surprised that I did, and I hate that. I care about them. I just needed to go, and that’s nothing to do with them. It was my shit. “Yeah,” I say. “Of course.”

Pops leans back against the barn wall as I take a look at the tractor. I turn the key. It starts but then dies after a moment.

“Can you tell me what happened, son?” Pops asks me after a moment. I exhale and pull out my smoke, lighting one and holding it between my lips.

“You shouldn’t smoke those things,” he says to me.

I chuckle. “Yeah, well, I shouldn’t do a lot of things.” I sniff and remove the cigarette after inhaling. “I messed up. I chose to do something reckless and I got caught.” I shrug. “I also got lucky they didn’t throw me in jail.”

“Why did you mess up?” he asks me and not in a way of scolding, but he genuinely wants to know.

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